True confession: my first attempt at recounting this episode was such a dull, sausage-making drone that I bored even myself. So I'm trying again, this time with atmosphere, and maybe some mental sausage.
A couple of hours before the program, it rained. A lot. There was flooding in the area! And I think of the poor children and their parents, especially in our old hipster neighborhood, a Halloween wonderland, getting soaked in their heroic effort to keep the candy industry afloat.
I was working in the opposite direction, trying to get to the gym, probably for the first time in several days--my new job was exhausting me mentally and physically, and I had dived deeply into comfort food (and am still diving)--and taking my life into my own hands.
Rain is my least favorite weather to begin with, but particularly in Ithaca--usually if it's raining it's just the right temperature for our car to fog up uncontrollably. I could easily have mowed down some young family on my way to torture myself, and to be honest I probably felt nothing in particular about either part of this equation.
Feels like I just talked about how much I hate fundraising programs, and here I was in the control room again the next day. Like a goddamn salmon I keep returning, with tremendous effort, and I don't even get it.
Since this program was broadcast, 95 days ago now, I've gone on the air 17 times. I am listening to a transmission from 61 days ago. I'm currently editing a sound file from 41 days ago--7 shows ago. What does it amount to, this enormous task? And what will I even do when I am caught up? Anyway, October's finished, unless you count that unfortunate area of space-time where it is always still happening, forever.
Fittingly, I played a bunch of 4AD-adjacent stuff on this evening of "songs about ghosts and songs about dead people." It haunts me, or at least it haunts the person I have been, whom I carry around with me at all times. It is more "me" to stray from the "best available" in favor of the weird, personal, disturbing. And of course we made less money on this night than the last one. Sometimes I know what I'm talking about.
BOMBAST playlist, 2019 October 31, 2100-2300:
existing in the shadows of dreams
https://www.facebook.com/radiobombast?ref=hl
https://twitter.com/KidCatharsis
Outright Denial of the Dying and the Sane: Transmission 528, 2020 May 27
Sorry If I Give You PTSD: Transmission 527, 2020 May 20
Just Admit You Don’t Know What To Do: Transmission 526, 2020 May 13
Deep off into Mother Universe: Transmission 525, 2020 May 6
Hello Refusal, You’re Just the Same as Usual: Transmission 524, 2020 April 29
I Got One Doctor That I Talk to Every Week About This Panic: Transmission 523, 2020 April 22
But What Do You Expect Me To Do? Transmission 522, 2020 April 15
Let the Sirens Sing Out Their Nightmare: Transmission 521, 2020 April 8
Can You Pretend To Love Chaos? Transmission 520, 2020 April 1
My Revenge Against the World Is To Believe Everything You Say: Transmission 519, 2020 March 25
Everything's Coming to a Grinding Halt: Transmission 518, 2020 March 18
You Try To Give Me Your Money, You Better Save It: Transmission 517, 2020 March 11
No Sex or Records for a Year and a Day: Transmission 516, 2020 March 5
It's the Beginning of the End: Transmission 515, 2020 March 4
Pay Your Respects to the Vultures, For They Are Your Future: Transmission 514, 2020 February 27
Call Me Your Nightmare, Call Me Your Dream: Transmission 513, 2020 February 26
All Surroundings Are Evolving: Transmission 512, February 19
Overstand the Futility of My Antics: Transmission 511, 2020 February 12
When Two Energies Collide, Wow, Magnificent: Transmission 510, 2020 February 5
They Will Sell You Back Your Heart: Transmission 509, 2020 February 1
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