NB: I am not a "recovering Catholic."
I got 99 problems, but being Catholic ain't one.
Clearly I would rather just post memes today than write an actual blog post. Probably because this just leaves me so sad and frustrated. I have some ideas what some other people have gone through... people whom the Catholic Church, or rather some specific people in it, treated badly or at any rate failed to meet them with the help they needed and that Being Itself wanted them to have... but I know almost no one's specifics, and I cannot bloody FIX it all, or any of it for that matter.
I don't know what it's like for Catholicism to be, or seem like, The Problem instead of my companion from the very first step toward The Solution out of the liquid hog shit in the very lowest subbasement of my empty, tortured life. The very idea horrifies me. "Why can't they see that this or that or this other sin is clearly against the entire real teaching of the Church? Why can't they see that this teaching they disagree with is the exact opposite of arbitrary? Why...?" I have no words to express it all today.
There are definite ways in which things within the Catholic tradition have been put to work against me. (Protip: You anxious, depressive, compulsive types out there... don't try reading Cassian without a kind and loving spiritual director, or John of the Cross for that matter.) At this vantage point, in every one of those cases, I see those situations as the Devil quoting Scripture to me just like he did in the desert to Jesus; in some sense, as demonic possession. The demons love to pervert the holy, and have loved watching me hurt myself until I was incapable of virtue. But the solution to possession is not execution: it's exorcism. Exorcism demands faith, and faith is a response to grace. I was led to the Twelve Steps, and the heavy drape has been ripped back. I don't have to live that way; I don't have to discard the beautiful reality of the world I first glimpsed in Dante's allegory at fourteen. All I have to do is deliberately choose to hope. That is a heavy cross for me, but just light enough, sized just right, I suspect.
If you are one of those "recovering Catholics," obviously, my heart is filled with sorrow for whatever wounds you have suffered. If you want or need someone to pour it all out on, well, my email link is on the right (at thatssosecondmillennium.net).
Ep 147 - Daniel Shields on Nature and Nature’s God
Ep 146 - TSSM Takes a Break
Ep 145 - Faith Journeys That Make a World of Difference: Paul Seungoh Chung
Ep 144 - Matthew & Chantal of 5th Place on Emotional Fitness
Ep 143 - Scott Gazzoli and Spirit over Show
Ep 142 - Matt Swaim: Symbols and Substance, in Faith and Online
Ep 141 - Louis Albarran and the Faith of Real People
Bonus - Society of Catholic Scientists 2022
Ep 140 - Chris Bell – Views from a Pro-Life Lifetime
Ep 139 - Pondering Big Issues Powered by Uranium
Ep 138 - Darcia Narvaez, Insights About Humanity for a Suffering World
Ep 137 - Francis Bacon and the New Organon
Ep 136 - Deacon Harold: Life Rich in Reality, Reality Rich in Life
Ep 135 - A Visit to the Universe of Fr. Robert Spitzer, SJ
Ep 134 - Bill on Journalism and Truth with Franciscan Dave
Cybersecurity Bonus Episode with Matthew Cloud
Episode 133 - Cybersecurity Education as a Vocation with Matthew Cloud
Ep 132 – The Long Road to Mathematical Physics
Ep 131 - Jordan Wales and the Moral Theology of AI
Episode 130 - Natasha Toghramadjian’s Research into Earth-Shaking Impacts
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