Do you find yourself talking, lecturing, or repeating yourself to your kiddos? Resulting in getting annoyed and then raising your voice or yelling? Stress! How about a new strategy? Lauren discusses the fourth of her “7 Disarming Communication Tactics” in this episode: the “One Word” Strategy. Instead of lecturing or repeating yourself, try using one-word reminders to help guide their behavior. When you’ve discussed and agreed in advance, these short clues are all they need to remember the task. One reason this...
Do you find yourself talking, lecturing, or repeating yourself to your kiddos? Resulting in getting annoyed and then raising your voice or yelling? Stress! How about a new strategy?
Lauren discusses the fourth of her “7 Disarming Communication Tactics” in this episode: the “One Word” Strategy. Instead of lecturing or repeating yourself, try using one-word reminders to help guide their behavior. When you’ve discussed and agreed in advance, these short clues are all they need to remember the task.
One reason this works well: It reduces the number of words the brain has to process.
Why would we do this?
Language is stimulating. The more language we use, the more kids are stimulated. More language also means the more kids have to process all those words. Then, once they process the words, they have to take action. That takes a lot of time and energy. Now, try using just a few words. Kids can process and take action much faster. And using just a few words feels less like “an order” and more like a reminder.
By guiding and not lecturing, kids feel they are not “being told what to do” and lose all control. The stress response system likes this! Often, how we communicate with kids triggers their stress response system, and they get stuck in their Emotional Brain. When that happens, they cannot act/think logically or rationally. You cannot reason with them. This is why it’s so important to “disarm” the stress response system by using communication that sets kids up for success.
Remember –
When making changes like this, give both yourself and your kiddos some grace. YOU are learning a new “language”, and THEY need time to understand it.
Mentioned in this episode:
Pneumonic for the 7 Communication Tactics: SCHWINF
Lauren answers this week’s listener question during the episode:
How can I coach/mentor my home visiting staff (or others) on this subject?
Try-at-home tip: Blues, greens and grays.
Other related resources from The Behavior Hub:
Blog Post:
Improve Communication: Less is More
Positive Communication: Try Some Humor
Improve Communication by Giving Kids Choices
Podcast:
Why Behaviors Occur - The 5 Needs Areas
Our Online Courses:
From Conflict to Calm: Communicating so kids listen the FIRST time
Classroom Design with the Brain in Mind
- Do you have a question? I can answer it in a future episode!
Email questions to podcast@thebehaviorhub.com or send via text to 717-693-7744. - Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about the Emotional Brain.
- Check out our Facebook Group – Raising and Teaching Respectful Children
- The Behavior Hub website
- The Behavior Hub blog
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