Ep 170: Why Custody Decisions Need a Pattern-Based Approach When There has Been Coercive Control

2025-09-24

When it comes to domestic violence and coercive control, the systems we rely on to protect children are often looking at the wrong thing.Instead of assessing for patterns like, long-term, consistent dynamics of fear, control, and power imbalances, many custody decisions are still made based on isolated incidents. And that’s a huge problem.In this solo episode, I’m sharing why we need a major shift in how we assess safety, parenting, attachment, and the best interests of the child, and how a pattern-based approach can more acc...

When it comes to domestic violence and coercive control, the systems we rely on to protect children are often looking at the wrong thing.

Instead of assessing for patterns like, long-term, consistent dynamics of fear, control, and power imbalances, many custody decisions are still made based on isolated incidents. And that’s a huge problem.

In this solo episode, I’m sharing why we need a major shift in how we assess safety, parenting, attachment, and the best interests of the child, and how a pattern-based approach can more accurately reflect the lived experience of survivors and their children.

We’ll talk about:

Why coercive control often doesn’t show up in isolated “incidents”
How this outdated model fails kids in custody evaluations
Why it can take months or even a year for a child to feel safe enough to reveal the full picture in therapy
The dangers of assuming we can determine a child’s best interest after two brief sessions with an evaluator

Whether you're a survivor navigating the family court system or a professional working in this space, this episode offers clarity and validation, and a call to do better by the families most impacted.

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!