EP - 23 I’m Sorry isn’t Enough! Introducing the Make It Right Technique

WELCOME BACK PARENTS! When your child misbehaves, causes a problem for or hurts someone, is your go-to response; "Tell me you're sorry!" or "You better say sorry!"?

Yep!  Often times it is our go-to response!  I'm excited to share another option for your kids to learn the effects of their behavior on others and how allowing them to make up for their mistakes or wrong doing, builds character and self-esteem!

Introducing the Make it Right Technique. 

Wouldn't it be better to teach your kids to make right what they did wrong?

Apologizing for the misbehavior or unkind behavior is "icing on the cake" and of course we DO want our kids to apologize AND we also want them to "mean it"! 
Robbing our kids of a valuable lesson by only expecting them to apologize actually sets the stage for more misbehavior!

Have you ever been hurt or wronged and then lied to?  That's often exactly what happens when we make a child say they're sorry when they really aren't!  Think about that for a minute. 

It goes like this; your child hits another child (maybe out of frustration or because the other did something mean) and you interject with a "you better say sorry".  Guess what? Likely, your child is NOT really sorry. 

While there is no excuse for hitting or hurting others, instead of forcing our children to apologize, let's teach them a way to, make right what they did wrong and increase the odds they won't repeat the same behavior!  

And guess what?  After making it up to the person they caused a problem for, most often your child will offer an "I'm Sorry" all on their own!  It comes authentically from the inside out!  So Great!

Disclaimer: Use this technique only after you and your child are calm, and the problem behavior is “over”.  Be sure neither of you are in fight nor flight mode when using this technique.  If you or the child become upset while having the conversation, stop and try again later.  The goal is for the child to make right what they did wrong and make it up to you (or whomever they harmed or caused a problem for), not to punish them. 

You are teaching that when we make a mistake or cause a problem for others, we can correct the mistake and make it up to the people that were involved or affected. 

This can be used with any person your child’s behavior causes a problem for including siblings, teachers, classmates, coaches, you as the parent or others.  And, YOU can model this behavior with your kids!  After those epic parenting fail moments when you fly off the handle or do something that causes a problem for your kid!  YOU can Make It Right with them! 

If you are not sure whether it’s an appropriate technique for your situation be sure to check in with me!  jaci@noproblemparents.com

 

Become a No Problem Parent Today!