21 | Missing Your Ex? Don’t Message Them, Do THIS to Take Back Your Power Instead!

Breakups don’t have to break you.  In this episode, I share the raw truth about post-breakup panic and the paradigm shifts that helped me move from codependency to confidence — and attract aligned, healthy love.

I’m the first to admit that I used to find it VERY hard to deal with breakups well. 

I was an emotional wreck every. single. time. and spent most my waking hours consumed with sadness.

No matter how unjust their behaviour was, how brutal the break up was and how poorly they treated me… the fact is I would have done ANYTHING to get them back. 

Focusing on my situation this way made me feel lost, alone, and touched very raw childhood wounds around unworthiness and unlovability. 

The shock of it all triggered my nervous system and I could only feel raw emotion - my prefrontal cortex literally couldn’t think straight because in this state of high emotional charge, our hard-wired survival instinct shuts down our executive faculties and focuses all our energy and resources on survival - cortisol, fight, flight, freeze, FREAK OUT. 

It creates a sense of urgency in us - the reaction makes us feel like we have to take survival action STRAIGHT AWAY… so we make unintelligent, misaligned decisions out of desperation. 

We stalk them on social media, we drive past their house, we think about how they’re feeling, we ruminate on what went wrong, we lament over things not being different.  We analyse, pull apart, blame, cry, numb ourself and we convince ourself that we have no control. 

We feel so separated from them that the desire for re-connection - ANY CONNECTION!  - takes over.

We feel in that moment that we have nothing to lose and so….

…we send them a message. 

Then we hate ourselves because on some level we know we’ve just handed even more of our power away. 

So how can we stop this yucky pattern, and choose self-empowerment instead?

After all, there are people who handle breakups REALLY well (I know this because I became one of them). 

In this episode I share the breakup paradigm shifts that helped me to drop codependency and become a magnet for healthy, awesome relationships. 

🎧 Tune in now to learn how to reclaim your power and stop chasing the people who don’t deserve your love.

Let’s get you closer to the love and life you truly deserve -

Remy xox

 

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Email: remy@herloveupgrade.com
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Intro/Outro Track: Sweet Memory by JayJen & Enine