In this conversation, disability advocate, artist, and author Jayne Mattingly joins Dr. Marianne to explore body grief: the very real mourning that happens when your body, health, or identity do not match the life you imagined. Jayne traces how she coined the term from years of counseling work in eating disorders and body image, and from her own shift into disability after sudden illness and 19 brain and spine surgeries. Together, we unpack how ableism, intersectionality, and systemic oppression shape what we grieve about our...
In this conversation, disability advocate, artist, and author Jayne Mattingly joins Dr. Marianne to explore body grief: the very real mourning that happens when your body, health, or identity do not match the life you imagined. Jayne traces how she coined the term from years of counseling work in eating disorders and body image, and from her own shift into disability after sudden illness and 19 brain and spine surgeries. Together, we unpack how ableism, intersectionality, and systemic oppression shape what we grieve about our bodies and how we heal. You will hear practical ways to name body grief, honor it, and build community care that creates room for joy, creativity, and resistance.
This episode covers body grief, disability advocacy, chronic pain, eating disorders, antifat bias, medical dismissal, grief phases, and neurodivergent-affirming, sensory-attuned care. We discuss how ableism and overlapping identities influence recovery, why harm reduction and community care matter, and practical tools for regulation, access planning, and self-advocacy.
CONTENT CAUTION
We discuss medical trauma, dismissal in healthcare, chronic pain, disability, diet culture, and systemic oppression. Please listen with care and pause when needed.
WHAT WE COVER
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What “body grief” means and why naming it matters
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How eating disorders can function as regulation and why recovery can feel like loss
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Jayne’s personal story of sudden illness, surgeries, vision loss, and becoming a wheelchair user
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Everyday ableism and why language like “non-disabled” helps decenter harmful norms
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The seven phases Jayne observes in body grief and how people move through them
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Dismissal in medical settings, internalized dismissal, and how to advocate for yourself
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Why body grief grows inside systems of racism, antifat bias, sexism, homophobia, and ageism
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Neurodivergence, disability, and how a more accessible world would change the grief we carry
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Community care, harm reduction, and finding light without forcing a tidy destination
KEY TAKEAWAYS
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Body grief is universal. We all live in bodies that change. Naming the grief opens space for honesty, compassion, and skills.
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Oppression intensifies grief. Systems teach us which bodies are “acceptable.” Healing includes unlearning those messages and changing the conditions around us.
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Hope and grief can coexist. Progress is nonlinear. You can move in and out of phases and still build a meaningful life.
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Language matters. Shifting to terms like “non-disabled” helps challenge ableist defaults.
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Community care is protective. Healing grows when we practice access, mutual support, and self-advocacy together.
FAVORITE MOMENTS
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Jayne on seeing ableism inside “love your body for what it can do” messages and why that left disabled people out
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The dismissal chapter story that shows how easily young people internalize “you’re fine” when they are not fine
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“If you design for disabled people first, everyone benefits.”
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Body grief as a unifier that crosses political lines through storytelling and clear psychoeducation
PRACTICAL TOOLS MENTIONED
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Name your current phase of body grief and set one tiny supportive action for today
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Track dismissal patterns you have internalized and write one replacement script for your next appointment
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Build a personal access plan: sensory needs, mobility needs, communication needs, and who can help
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Use harm-reduction mindset for recovery work and daily life
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Create a small “joy and regulation” list that is available on hard days
ABOUT JAYNE
Jayne Mattingly is a nationally recognized disability advocate, body image speaker, and author of This Is Body Grief. She founded The AND Initiative to shift conversations around accessibility, ableism, and healing. Jayne is also the artist behind Dying for Art, a bold abstract series created in partnership with her changing body and chronic pain. She lives in Charleston, South Carolina with her service dog Wheatie.
Find Jayne: Instagram @jaynemattingly, janemattingly.com, and Substack This Is Body Grief.
RELATED EPISODES ON BODY GRIEF & ABLEISM
- Body Grief & Body Peace with Leslie Jordan Garcia @liberatiwellness on Apple & Spotify.
- Fat Positivity, Accessibility, Body Grief, & Emotions with @bodyimagewithbri Brianna Campos, LPC on Apple & Spotify.
- Size Inclusivity & Ableism: Why Body Acceptance is More Than Just "Loving Your Curves" on Apple & Spotify.
- Ableism and Common Myths About Diabetes with Kim Rose, RD @the.bloodsurgar.nutritionist on Apple & Spotify.
RESOURCES & LINKS
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Book: This Is Body Grief by Jayne Mattingly — available wherever books are sold
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The AND Initiative: education and advocacy on accessibility and ableism
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Dying for Art: Jayne’s abstract painting series
CONNECT WITH DR. MARIANNE
If you’re struggling with restriction, food obsession, or atypical anorexia and are seeking affirming, experienced support, Dr. Marianne offers therapy in California, Texas, and Washington, D.C. Her approach is weight-inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming, sensory-attuned, and trauma-informed.
Get started here: 👉 https://www.drmariannemiller.com
INTERESTED IN HANGING OUT MORE IN DR. MARIANNE-LAND?
- Follow me on Instagram @drmariannemiller
- Check out my virtual, self-paced ARFID and Selective Eating course
- Look into my self-paced, virtual, anti-diet, subscription-based curriculum. It is called Dr. Marianne-Land's Binge Eating Recovery Membership.
- Live in California, Texas, or Washington D.C. and interested in eating disorder therapy with me? Sign up for a free, 15-minute phone consultation HERE or via my website, and I'll get you to where you need to be!
- Check out my blog.
- Want more information? Email me at hello@mariannemiller.com
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