The Messy Parts

From Fax Boy to CEO to Billion Dollar Sale: Patrick Steel Was Terrified (But Showed Up Anyway)

What does it take to walk into a failing company with zero experience and turn it around? Patrick Steel — former CEO of Politico — did exactly that. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Patrick shares with Maryam how he navigated multiple career pivots: from the Clinton White House to investment banking to leading one of Washington's most powerful media brands. We cover imposter syndrome, recovering from public failure, why no task should ever be beneath you, and how relationships — not credentials — are the real currency of a successful career. Plus, Patrick gives his honest take on AI, the creator economy, and what today's 19-year-olds are telling us about the future of media.Key Moments0:00 - When Politico Was On Fire 🔥 Politico was hemorrhaging money, losing talent, and Axios was circling. Patrick walks in with zero media experience.1:41 - Who Was Young Patrick? 👦 Growing up on the Upper West Side between two very different worlds — a civil rights lawyer dad and an actress mum with a secret.5:33 - How Politics Got Under His Skin 🏛️ A weekend volunteering in New Hampshire turned into sleeping on a cot and never going back. The Clinton campaign changed everything.8:07 - Why No Task Was Ever Too Small 💼 How mastering the fax machine at a think tank opened the door to the White House — and why nothing has ever been beneath him.13:07 - Making Big Mistakes in Public 😬 Getting your head ripped off by the Deputy Chief of Staff at 26. What it taught him about accountability and never repeating the same error.15:11 - The Power of Radical Optimism ☀️ Why Patrick wakes up every day choosing positivity — and why as a leader, he believes you simply don't have a choice.16:12 - The Most Unexpected Pivot Yet 💰 Gore loses. Wife out of work. Six-month-old baby. Patrick makes his boldest career leap yet — straight to Wall Street.19:53 - Even Extroverts Feel Like Outsiders 🚪 Even extroverts feel like they don't belong. Patrick on navigating imposter syndrome across every new chapter of his career.22:37 - The Relationship Playbook That Changes Everything 🤝 The Harvard study that says relationships are the only thing that matters — and practical tips for people who don't find this stuff natural.28:03 - From $13 Million Loss to Billion Dollar Sale 📰 Right people, right seats, clear mission. How Patrick went from losing $13 million to a billion-dollar sale to Axel Springer.31:46 - Life After the Billion Dollar Exit ⏸️ Teaching 19-year-olds at NYU Stern, advising media startups, and learning to exist without the CEO title.37:39 - Rapid Fire With Patrick Steel ⚡Travel before 35, the myth of prestige careers, AI's real economic threat, and the walk-on song he still hasn't figured out.Send us Fan MailEmail us: hello@themessypartspodcast.comTo stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.Thank you for listening.

“Flooded with the Feeling of Sudden Death” Shelley Huff on Panic Attacks, Bankruptcy, Getting Fired, and Life After the Title

​​What happens when a high-achieving executive loses everything — and has to start over? Shelley Huff spent decades climbing the corporate ladder, from merchant at Walmart to Fortune's Most Powerful Women list, to CEO of Serta Simmons Bedding. Then came bankruptcy, betrayal, and a firing she never got to say goodbye from. In this raw and honest conversation, Shelly opens up to Maryam about panic disorder in the workplace, the identity crisis that follows job loss, the grief nobody names when a career ends, and the sabbatical that changed her life. Whether you're navigating burnout, a career pivot, or simply trying to hold it all together, Shelly's story will resonate deeply.Key Moments00:00:00 - She Thought She Was Dying — In the Middle of a Staff Meeting 😰Shelly opens with a startling admission — she was sitting in boardrooms counting down the clock so she could drive herself to the emergency room.00:04:03 - She Dropped Out of College at 19 — And It Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Her 🎓Leaving engineering, starting a candle business with her best friends, and how it all falling apart gave her the clarity to go all in when she went back.00:07:38 - The Partnership Lesson Every Founder Needs to Hear 🤝Just because someone is your best friend doesn't mean they'll be your best business partner. 00:11:36 - How Walmart Became the Place She Never Wanted to Leave 🏪Shelly knew within four weeks of her internship that this was where she wanted to build her career.00:14:00 - The Mardi Gras Disaster That Actually Got Her Promoted 🎭She bought 400 times the inventory the country needed. Instead of deflecting, she owned it completely — and got promoted nine months later.00:17:25 - The Panic Attacks Nobody Knew About 😶Shelly describes the year she spent hiding panic disorder as her career was rising.00:23:05 - Why She Left Walmart for a Struggling Mattress Company 🛏️The counterintuitive career move that took her from a cash-rich public company to a private-equity-owned business in distress — and why she ran toward it.00:29:43 - The Moment She Had to Choose: Leave or Stay Through Bankruptcy 💼Knowing the company might file for Chapter 11, Shelly faced a decision most executives quietly run from. 00:30:39 - Fired. Three Weeks After Leading the Company Out of Bankruptcy. 🔥The gut punch moment. After doing everything right, she got fired in a 10-minute phone call.00:34:42 - The Sabbatical That Changed Everything 🌿How Shelley surrendered to a full year off that transformed everything.00:38:40 - Building a Community for the Leaders Nobody Checks On 🫂Shelly and Maryam on the grief and isolation that follows leaving a C-suite role — and the peer community they're building for executives asking, who am I now?Send us Fan MailEmail us: hello@themessypartspodcast.comTo stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.Thank you for listening.

Paper Magazine’s Kim Hastreiter Wasn’t Satisfied. So She Built Her Own Amazing World.

This is the world Kim Hastreiter built: Paper Magazine. Stuff. Joey Arias. Salvador Dali. Barbara Streisand. Nora Ephron. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Andy Warhol. Keith Haring. Bill Cunningham. Soho Weekly News. Michael Musto. Sex Pistols. Michael Stipe. Larry Kramer. And on and on. She is one of one, a cultural trailblazer in New York City and beyond. In this enlightening conversation, Kim gets honest with Maryam about the moments that shaped her — the art world that wouldn't let her in, the investors who didn't get it, the cultural earthquakes she lived through and refused to be flattened by. She talks about what it really means to find your gift, why she's never once let money make a decision for her, and how surrounding yourself with the right people can change the entire trajectory of your life. Funny, fearless, and full of hard-won wisdom — this is the conversation every creative needs to hear right now.Key Moments"If You Won't Help Me, I'll Do It Myself" 🎨Kim's entire philosophy in one unfiltered opening minute.The Suburban Kid Who Became an Artist 🌱How a normal New Jersey childhood with an extraordinary mother quietly planted every seed that followed.Dropping Everything and Traveling the World Alone ✈️  Before Paper, before New York — Kim had a rail pass, a pickup truck, and a belief in herself"Money Was Never My Motivator — Find Your Gift Instead" The exchange every 25-year-old chasing the wrong thing needs to hear.The Art World Shut the Door on Her — So She Kicked It Down 🚪 Kim arrived with credentials, supporters, and a vision — and still got shut out because she wasn't one of the boys.How Paper Magazine Started With $1,000 and a Poster 🗞️The scrappy, accidental origin story of one of the most iconic independent magazines ever made.Why the People You Surround Yourself With Are Everything 🤝 No assholes, no transactional relationships — Kim on the art of collecting the right people.Living Through the AIDS Crisis — and What Community Really Means 🎗️A moving reflection on loss, showing up, and what humans owe each other in impossible times."AI Is a Slow-Motion Car Crash" — And She Saw It Coming 🤖  Kim has always read the room early — and she's not optimistic about this one.The Week She Sold Paper and Lost Her Mother 📦 Two enormous endings in the same week — and what it really feels like to let go of something you built.She Wants to Teach — But Nobody Will Let Her In 🎓Every school has rejected Kim — because they still can't figure out what shelf to put her on.The One Thing She'd Tell Anyone Under 35 🌟Practical, specific, and a little surprising — Kim’s best rapid-fire answer of the episode.Send us Fan MailEmail us: hello@themessypartspodcast.comTo stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.Thank you for listening.

“Why Can’t Mom Sit Still?” Maryam Banikarim on Why Busy Is Her Drug & the Messy Parts Are the Point

What happens when a high-powered career hits unexpected turns? In this deeply personal episode of The Messy Parts, host Maryam Banikarim flips the script as her sister, award-winning journalist Susie Banikarim, interviews her about the defining — and messy — moments behind her remarkable journey. Maryam shares stories of growing up between cultures, navigating grief after losing her father, and building a bold career across advertising, publishing, tech, and global marketing leadership. She also reflects on moments of doubt — like stepping away from a top executive role and asking, “What am I if not employed?” The conversation explores resilience, entrepreneurship, motherhood, and the importance of community, including the inspiration behind The Longest Table movement. This episode is part of a series featuring stories of leaders and founders in transition, in collaboration with The Interval.Key Moments00:00 — The Shame of Career Setbacks 💬Maryam Banikarim opens the episode with an honest reflection on the shame people feel during career setbacks—and why talking openly about those moments matters.01:20 — Growing Up During the Iranian Revolution 🌍Maryam shares what it was like experiencing the Iranian Revolution as a child—and why, at the time, it felt more exhilarating than traumatic.06:00 — The Day Everything Changed: Losing Her Father  💔Maryam recounts the shocking moment her father drowned during a family vacation—and how suddenly she had to become “the functioning one.”07:30 — “I Still Hadn’t Cried”  😔Returning to college after her father’s death, Maryam reveals how she avoided processing grief—and the surreal conversations that followed.11:00 — How Barnard Helped Save Her  🎓Maryam explains why Barnard became a life-changing support system during one of the hardest periods of her life.17:30 — “I’ve Had Like 800 Jobs”  🚀Maryam reflects on her unconventional career path—switching roles constantly while most people stayed in one job.23:40 — “My Drug Is Busy”  ⚡Maryam admits she thrives on constant motion—even working until the day she gave birth.25:40 — Why Stillness Terrifies Her  🧠After years of nonstop work, Maryam explains why slowing down forced her to confront emotions she had avoided for decades.33:00 — “The Busiest Unemployed Person I Know”  😅During a career pause, Maryam’s son delivers a brutally honest observation about her inability to stop moving.35:40 — “Am I a Loser Now?”  😬Maryam opens up about the identity crisis many people face after leaving a major job—and the fear that their career might be over.43:30 — From Failure to Opportunity: The “We Love New York” Backlash  🔥When a public campaign she worked on was widely mocked, Maryam turned the criticism into one of the campaign’s biggest strengths.46:40 — The Moment That Sparked The Longest Table  🍽️A simple idea during tSend us Fan MailEmail us: hello@themessypartspodcast.comTo stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.Thank you for listening.

Fired from My Own Company — By My Husband: Chocolatier Katrina Markoff on Trusting Yourself and Making Bold Decisions

Katrina Markoff built a globally successful chocolate empire, only to lose it all in a devastating corporate and personal betrayal. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Katrina gets real with Maryam about burnout, identity loss, and the fear of starting over. From staying too long in “safe” situations to learning how to trust her instincts again, Katrina shares the messy in-between moments most people hide. She and Maryam discuss bad business breakups, comparison culture, and why you don’t have to be fully “healed” to begin again. This is a conversation about choosing yourself, letting go of titles, and rebuilding after everything falls apart. If you’ve ever felt stuck, behind, or quietly exhausted by doing everything “right,” this episode will remind you that you’re not alone — and that change doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful.Key Moments“If You Don’t Trust Yourself, You’ll Never Do Anything Interesting” 💥Katrina delivers the core thesis of the episode about intuition, fear-based decisions, and staying stuck in “safe” lives.Discovering Chemistry Through Curiosity 🧪Katrina shares how early experimentation and fascination with transformation shaped her creative path.Running a Cake Business in High School 🎂A surprising early entrepreneurship moment that foreshadows Katrina’s future career.Where Your Heart Leads 🍫Katrina explains how the advice from a mentor helped her trust her intuition.Taking a Culinary Leap 🧑‍🍳How the decision to enroll in culinary school in France — and not follow a traditional career path — shaped the next phase of Katrina’s journeyTrusting Yourself Enough to Take Risks 🚀Katrina and Maryam unpack what self-trust actually looks like in real life decision-making.A Ticket Around the World ✈️Katrina takes another big leap and travels the world in search of her next inspiration.“The Deal Fell Apart” 💔Katrina describes the business collapse that triggered massive emotional and financial stress.“Everything Completely Fell Apart” 🔥She opens up about the full impact of loss, instability, and identity disruption.When You Trust Yourself in One Way — But Not Another 🪞A nuanced moment about partial confidence and hidden self-doubt.Rebuilding After Identity Loss 🌱Katrina reflects on who she became after letting go of old titles and structures.Send us Fan MailEmail us: hello@themessypartspodcast.comTo stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.Thank you for listening.