While We're Waiting® - Hope After Child Loss

316 | When Scars Become Stories with Pat Elsberry

"Every scar says, 'Here's where I was broken, and here is where God met me.'" ~ Pat ElsberryWhat if the deepest wound in your life could one day become your greatest testimony of God's faithfulness?In today's episode, returning guest Pat Elsberry joins us to discuss her newest book, When Scars Become Stories: A Journey to Healing, Restoration, and Faith.  After her daughter Melanie died due to addiction in 2020, Pat began the difficult journey of child loss ... a journey that has deepened her faith and shaped the message of hope she now shares with others. Together, we explore many of the themes woven throughout her book, including the physical effects of grief, learning to grieve with hope and grace, finding God's presence in the darkest valleys, and discovering how our scars can become stories that point others to Jesus.If you've ever wondered whether joy can exist alongside sorrow, this conversation offers biblical encouragement and practical hope for wherever you are on your grief journey.In this episode, you'll hear:The often-overlooked physical effects of child loss.What it means to grieve with hope rather than without hope.Why hope is the oxygen grieving parents desperately need.How God's grace enables us to keep moving forward.The beautiful picture of kintsugi and how God restores broken hearts.Why our scars are not something to hide but testimonies of God's faithfulness.How worship and praise become powerful anchors during grief.What it means to be comforted by God so we can comfort others.The reassurance that we serve El Roi, the God who sees us.How to weather unexpected "tsunami waves" of grief.Practical signs that healing is quietly taking place.Why living with an eternal perspective changes everything.The hope of reunion with our children through Jesus Christ.Whether your loss is recent or decades behind you, Pat reminds us that grief and hope can exist together ... that our children's stories still matter, and that God is still writing our stories.Resources MentionedWhen Scars Become Stories: A Journey to Healing, Restoration, and Faith by Pat ElsberryPat's website: Hope During LossConnect with Pat on Facebook and InstagramListen to Pat's previous appearance on the While We're Waiting podcast (Episode 219 and Episode 220), where she shares Melanie's story.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

315 | From Heartache to Hope (Part Two) with Wende Gaikema

In the second half of my conversation with author and speaker Wende Gaikema, our discussion turns to some of the most difficult and deeply personal questions parents face after the suicide of a child.  (If you haven't listened to the first half of our conversation yet, please click HERE to do that!)Drawing from her own experience following the death of her 24-year-old son, Matt, Wende continues walking through the choices outlined in her book, From Heartache to Hope: Navigating the Choices in Your Suicide Loss Journey. With biblical truth, practical wisdom, and remarkable honesty, she addresses the questions that so many grieving parents quietly carry but are often afraid to ask.Together, we discuss how to respond to shame, regret, and anger, how to navigate birthdays and holidays after loss, and why learning to "dance with a limp" can become a picture of healing. Throughout the conversation, Wende reminds us that grief changes us forever ... but it doesn't have to define us forever.In this episode, you'll hear about:What Scripture actually says about suicide and salvationWhy suicide is not the unpardonable sinHow to respond to feelings of shame, self-blame, and regretIdentifying and rejecting the voice of condemnationThe importance of self-compassion after child lossProcessing anger—including anger toward the child who diedUnderstanding the "emotional shrapnel" that suicide leaves behindNavigating birthdays, holidays, heaven dates, and other difficult milestonesWhy every family should find its own way to remember and honor their childThe meaning behind Wende's beautiful phrase, "Dancing with a Limp"How practicing gratitude can gradually shift our perspectiveUsing your story to comfort others without allowing your grief to define youOne of the most encouraging themes in this episode is the reminder that God rarely gives us enough light to see the entire path ahead, but He faithfully provides enough light for the next step. As Wende shares, healing isn't about "getting over" the loss of your child. It's about learning to carry that loss with grace while continuing to live the life God still has for you.Resources MentionedFrom Heartache to Hope: Navigating the Choices in Your Suicide Loss Journey by Wende GaikemaWende's website: https://coachwende.comIf you have lost a child to suicide, we pray this conversation reminds you that you are not alone. There is no shame in your story, no condemnation for those who are in Christ, and no grief so deep that God cannot meet you there. He is faithful to walk with you, one step at a time.If this episode encouraged you, please consider subscribing to the podcast, leaving a review, or sharing it with another bereaved parent. Your recommendation may help another family discover hope in the midst of unimaginable loss.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

314 | From Heartache to Hope (Part One) with Wende Gaikema

The death of a child by suicide leaves parents with heartbreaking questions, overwhelming emotions, and a complicated grief journey. In this first episode of a two-part conversation, I speak with author, speaker, and leadership coach Wende Gaikema about the loss of her 24-year-old son, Matt, who died by suicide in 2018.Wende first shares Matt's story and the day that changed her family's life forever. She then introduces the central theme of her new book, From Heartache to Hope: Navigating the Choices in Your Suicide Loss Journey—the idea that while we cannot choose our loss, we can choose how we respond to it.Together, we begin walking through the first six of twelve important choices that suicide loss survivors face, including where to place our hope, where to turn with our pain, what to do with doubt, how to view God's character in the midst of tragedy, and how to respond to the endless "why" questions that can keep us stuck.Whether your loss is recent or many years ago, this conversation offers biblical truth, practical wisdom, and gentle encouragement for the difficult road of suicide loss.In this episode, you'll hear about:Wende's son Matt and the events surrounding his death by suicideHow God met Wende in the darkest moments of her griefThe inspiration behind From Heartache to HopeWhy healing involves intentional choicesChoosing hope when hope feels impossibleBringing your pain honestly before God through lamentThe difference between doubt and unbeliefTrusting God's character when life doesn't make senseMoving from "Why?" questions to healthier "What now?" questionsResponding with grace when others say hurtful or unhelpful thingsIf you know someone grieving the loss of a child to suicide, we encourage you to share this episode with them. Sometimes the greatest gift we can offer is simply reminding someone they are not alone.Resources MentionedFrom Heartache to Hope: Navigating the Choices in Your Suicide Loss Journey by Wende GaikemaConnect with Wende: https://coachwende.comComing Up Next WeekIn the second half of our conversation, Wende tackles some of the most difficult questions surrounding suicide loss. We'll discuss whether suicide is the unpardonable sin, how to deal with shame, blame, regret, and anger, what she calls the "emotional shrapnel" left behind after suicide, and how God can redeem our pain by using our stories to bring hope to others.If this episode encouraged you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with another bereaved parent. Your support helps us reach families who desperately need hope.And if you've experienced the death of a child of any age and to any circumstance, we'd be honored to serve you at one of our free While We're Waiting retreats. Visit our website to learn more.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

313 | Light Up the Dark (Part Two) with Heather Oden

Today we pick up right where we left off last week in my conversation with Heather Oden.  In the previous episode, she introduced us to her son Jacob and shared the heartbreaking story of the car accident that took his life at just 15 years old. She also gave us a glimpse into those early days of grief and the ways God met her in the middle of unimaginable pain.  (You may want to click HERE to listen to the first half of our conversation before continuing with today's episode!)  In this second half of our conversation, Heather opens up about the difficult journey of forgiveness for the driver who took her son’s life, the ways God has reminded her that He is near, and how her grief has evolved over the nearly ten years since Jacob went to heaven. She also shares the story behind her ministry, Light Up the Dark, and the beautiful truth that even after the death of Jacob, she still finds purpose in being his mom.This is a conversation filled with hope ... a hope rooted not in circumstances, but in a God who is deeply personal, endlessly faithful, and always near. I believe you’ll be blessed by listening in.Click HERE to connect with Heather and learn more about Light Up the Dark!  I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

312 | Light Up the Dark (Part One) with Heather Oden

My guest today is Heather Oden of Sterling, Kansas. Heather is a woman who wears many hats ... She's the executive director of a nonprofit called Light Up the Dark, a worship leader at her church, the wife of a fifth-generation farmer, and the mom of five children.  Today, she joins me to share the story of her son, Jacob.Jacob was an athlete, an encourager, and a young man with a remarkable gift for noticing people who were hurting and speaking life into them. But on August 3, 2016, Jacob and his older brother, JJ, were driving home for lunch when their pickup was struck by a driver under the influence. JJ survived. Jacob did not. In this first half of our conversation, Heather introduces us to Jacob and shares what those early days of grief were like after losing him so suddenly. She talks honestly about the shock, the questions she brought to God, and the unexpected ways God brought comfort in the midst of unimaginable pain.This is a conversation filled with sorrow, certainly, but also with deep faith and the quiet reassurance that God is near to bring light to the darkness.  I believe you'll be blessed by listening in. I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org