Corey Ryan Forrester’s Rants and Such! (private feed for dalergiles@gmail.com)

How To Explain The Government Shutdown To Your Kids! Or (The Ballad Of Tommy & Sally!)

Hey folks! For those of you blessed souls not corrupted by the daily doomscroll of social media, here’s a silly video I made today! Hope you enjoy! While I’ve got you here…For the entire month of November, I’m donating 100% of the proceeds I make from custom videos at Cameo.com/CoreyRyanForrester to food banks to help people affected by losing their SNAP benefits and other such nonsense It turns my stomach to think that some people aren’t gonna have a Thanksgiving or just go without in general because the fat cats in Washington can’t get over themselves and work together on something for the people when FOR THE PEOPLE is what they are supposed to be. This is one way I can use my silliness for good. You get a custom gift for one of your loved ones and somebody somewhere gets some Turkey and Dressing. Everybody wins! If you want me to donate it to YOUR food bank, please just let me know and send me their info when you make your Cameo request, but if not otherwise stated I will be donating to my local chapter. Love you all and I hope this gets better for you. I am so ridiculously blessed and privileged to not only do what I love, but to make a living from it. Yes, I’ve worked hard, but I am also extremely lucky. There are people who work just as hard if not harder and because of circumstances beyond their control are in need right now, and for some reason instead of treating them with compassion, many people choose to villainize and stigmatize. I don’t think that there is anything we can do about that… there will always be selfish jerks in the world, but one thing we can do is match their hate with love and double it. CheersCorey This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Improv Story: Noir Set in London about a Farmer Where The Prime Minister is Cthulhu

I asked social media a while back to give me a several genres and scenarios for an impromptu story and I’d mix up all the suggestions and pick them at random… what I got was Improv Story: Noir Set in London about a Farmer Where The Prime Minister is CthulhuEnjoy! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

The Loss Of Surprise: By Corey Ryan Forrester

I had a kid in my late 30’s so while you are never truly prepared for fatherhood, I was a lot more knowledgeable of what to expect than the average southern man who impregnates the first girl to talk to him at a bonfire when he’s 19 (though lord knows I gave it a college try {or at least I think I did, I never went to college}) but recently it has dawned on me that I’m going to be among the first generation of parents that has to explain to their children the extinction of a once very common thing. Something from my own lifetime that has just ceased to exist. No not an animal, a fish, or some sort of godless bug with an exoskeleton made out of demon glass or something, but an emotion. The emotion of surprise.“What was being surprised like, Papa?” My sons walking Avatar will ask me while his human body remains in the cryochamber for safe keeping during Purge Hours. I will probably struggle at first because it’s been so long since I had felt it myself. “Ok. So you know when you have your Tesla Helmet on and you’re experiencing the day’s news in 360° degree format?” His face shows excitement “oh of course, with the nano camera technology you can actually experience the mass Mosque Burnings as if you were inside them! It’s sad of course but the technology is astounding” I sip my coffee and take in what I’ve heard. I’m glad my boy is interested in Global News but not at the way he speaks of it like a film.“Right. And what did you see yesterday” he thinks briefly “oh well there was a livestream of President Steven Crowder burning books that was sponsored by a new Canned Energy Milk and then of course the daily school shooting which the President says is just the price of admission for freedom”“Ok” I exclaimed. “That, that right there. When I was growing up that would be surprising to us. You see, being surprised happens when something didn’t go the way you thought it would go. I still remember the very first school shooting”“You were alive for the first one?” He asked, confused.“Well the first one of national prominence at least. Columbine High School. We’d never seen anything like it. We were shocked. Shocked is perhaps a more aggressive form of surprise I suppose. The politicians couldn’t work together on a solution. Normal people thought we should tighten up our gun regulations, but some people blamed Marylin Manson”“The guy who got one of his ribs removed so he could…”“Where’d you hear about that???”“I’m in middle school. Everyone hears that in middle school, no matter what part of the world you’re from”“Right. I forgot. Yes, him. They blamed his music and video games and the violent culture in the media. They blamed everything except the guns. And it just kept getting worse. More school shootings. More racial violence. We saw assassinations live on television. We watched babies ripped from their mothers arms for committing the crime of wanting a better life. We saw people murdered for who they chose to love, who they chose to be. We saw child traffickers get slapped on the wrist by the same people who campaigned on protecting the children. It was shocking. We were constantly surprised every day at what we were seeing. We would think it couldn’t possibly get worse, but then it did. That’s what being surprised is, and your generation will never know what it’s like because this type of world is all you’ve ever known.”I was on the verge of tears. Reliving all that emotion and having to convey it to my son, who no matter how hard I tried would never get to experience an innocent childhood like I had. He looked up at me with a bewildered look. Like I had broken his brain.“Dad”“Yes son?”“Are the digitized scrolls we read true? Was this country truly founded on slavery by men who didn’t want to pay taxes or let women read?”“Yes son. That is true”“Well then why the f*** is any of this surprising?”Damn. Good point. Never thought of it like that This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

I Was Fired From The Atlanta Journal Constitution… Here’s Why I Think That Could Be Good!!

Hey everyone! I know I haven’t been as active on here as some of you would like, and I understand, but a large part of that is because I was under the employ of one of the most prestigious newspapers in our country! I am grateful to them for taking a chance on me, and it’s never fun to be told you are no longer wanted, but in this video I will explain why I see it as an opportunity and will remain positive!Thank you all for your support, and look forward to me getting back to my old ways on here!love yall! Corey This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Corey Ryan Forrester’s Thought of The Day….kinda?

Hey y’all! Today my thought is that my head is free of thoughts! And by god that is a good thing! Watch and I’ll explain! Go To CoreyRyanForrester.com to book me for a Cameo and all sorts of other stuff! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe