How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.

#043 How to help children stay connected to their true selves

In this week’s episode I talk about raising children who are able to stay connected to their true selves. In this week’s episode I talk about raising children who are able to stay connected to their true selves. I believe the only way to be truly content and satisfied in life is to be able to stay connected to ourselves and what we truly want and need in life. When we are able to act from a place of connection to ourselves and make decisions based on what is in line with our true selves, I believe it is the best way to live a happy, satisfying and fulfilling life. However, we often learn very early on that it isn’t ok to be ourselves. We have to change what we want or need to meet the needs of others, or to avoid disappointing others. So how do we help our children stay connected to themselves - so they don’t have to spend half their adult life figuring that out? In this episode I talk about: Doing our own emotional work to reconnect with ourselves so we can model to our children how to be true to ourselves whilst still being compassionate to others. Taking our kids and their feelings seriously so they learn that it’s ok to be themselves. How to make sure our love isn’t conditional on whether our children behave in a certain way. Giving children as much autonomy as you can without being permissive. Help our children stand up for themselves through the power of play. How to be accepting of our kids when they aren’t able to be themselves. I hope you find the episode helpful. If you want to take the next step and get the support you need to make these ideas a reality in your home then the doors are open to my Peaceful Parent School, we begin on 21st September, click on the link to learn more.

#042 Ten tips for raising children who actually like you when they grow up

Most of us have big hopes and dreams for our children when we become parents. The type of people they will grow up to be, the type of relationship they will have with us as they grow and eventually become adults. But so often those hopes and dreams seem to get swamped in the day to day chaos of parenting. I believe we all hope to have a close and loving relationship with our children throughout their lives as they grow up into adults. So in this episode I share my 10 tips to raising children who will actually like you when they grow up. I always like to zoom out and think about the bigger picture of what we're trying to achieve with our children in terms of our long term relationship with them. Yes, we want parenting to be easier in the moment. It can be easier to tell a white lie or use a bribe to get them into the car quicker - but there is a long term cost to that. So we need to keep the long term goals in mind too whenever we have the space to do so. And the great news is that connection based parenting builds cooperation for the right reasons - kids stay connected to themselves, they grow up to be intrinsically motivated instead of looking at what's in it for them. They feel seen, they feel heard, even when you have to say no. Their feelings are held safely, you support them through their upsets so they learn that they don’t have to hide their feelings from you. This is the basis for a close, lasting relationship and it is exactly what we work on in my Peaceful Parent School, a 12 week transformative program shifting you from overwhelm and frustration into a calm and confident leader in your home. The doors are now open, we begin on 21st September, click here to learn more. You can watch the replay of my Why Your Kids Won't Listen Masterclass here

#041 Back to School - 9 ways to pack and unpack your child’s emotional backpack

Welcome back to season 2 of the podcast! For many of us here in the northern hemisphere, summer has come to an end and we are getting back to our routines: whether that is starting school or childcare for the first time or returning after the summer break. For those who home educate, it might be adjusting to having less friends around and finding a new routine. People are sharing their back to school photos on social media. Everyone is looking shiny and excited. However, if you and your child are struggling with this transition you aren't alone. We don't talk about the challenges of going back to school enough. We often prepare very well for school on a physical or practical level - we buy uniforms, new shoes, lunch box, stationary, whatever your child needs. But what about preparing our children on an emotional level? In this week's episode I discuss my nine tips to help you pack and unpack your child’s emotional backpack. These are the strategies I found most effective when supporting my daughter with returning to school. She had huge resistance to school, we battled with that for 4 years and ultimately we decided to home educate. I did everything I could to help my daughter settle in to school, but I could no longer ignore the negative effect it was having on her. I know that isn’t an option for everyone and many kids do well at school with a bit of extra emotional support. Listen to the full episode to hear how to implement these ideas: Unpack your own emotional baggage first Take 5 minutes to fill up your child’s emotional backpack with love and connection before the school day starts. Slow down the morning and find small ways to connect Find the silliness - the language of children is play and the quickest way to connect is through laughter. Make room for feelings - validate instead of dismiss Remember that your child is doing their best - and so are you. The long goodbye - don't rush the drop-off and make space for feelings of upset Reconnect after school Expect upset after school - they need to empty out their backpack and often they need your help to find their balance again. If you want to hear more about how connection-based parenting can work for you so you can find respectful strategies that really work to get your child listening - without ending up shouting, without resorting to threats and bribes, then I would like to invite you to my next Masterclass. It is on Tuesday 6th September at 8pm UK time, that is 12pm Pacific time and 3pm Eastern time. Simply click on this link to save your seat.

#040 Eight Things I learned (the hard way) about gentle parenting

When my daughter became a toddler, I felt totally lost. I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt capable in other areas of my life - but family life was chaotic. I didn’t know how to say no without upsetting her. So I would do anything to keep the peace. Until I got frustrated and ended up shouting. Then I discovered practical tools that made gentle parenting a reality for me. Six months later I was super confident as a parent. Parenting was still intense and challenging but the shouting was under control and there was so much more laughter. So let me share what I learned along the way so you can make this happen too. This is the last episode in the season, I will be back in September with Season 2. If you would like a copy of my free guide Solving Parenting Challenges Through Play so you don’t have to overpower your child and enter into standoffs and power struggles, then all you need to do is leave a review or share this podcast with a friend or on your social media. Let me know and I will send you a copy of the guide. Also, if you would like to learn more about putting these principles into action then come along to my next Why Your Kids Won’t Listen Masterclass taking place in September. Follow me on social media @PamParentCoach: Instagram Facebook Visit my website

#039 How to survive and thrive through the summer holidays

Today I am talking about the summer holidays. Whether your kids are off school already or finishing up in the next week or so, it is normal to have mixed feelings about the summer break. Maybe you are relieved to be finished with the school run for a few weeks or maybe you have to work and you’re stressing about juggling childcare and summer camps. You might be home alone a lot with your kids and you’re not quite sure how you are going to manage the change in routine - should you go with the flow or should you create a timetable or structure for your time off? You might be going away on holidays or going to visit family, or have family come and stay with you - this can add an extra layer of stress as you have to navigate those changes and relationships. And then there are the expectations - you feel like you have to make memories for your children, you have to make the most of the summer, arrange trips and fun activities to do. You might feel responsible for everyone enjoying themselves and if they don’t it’s on you. It’s normal to have all these concerns and worries. On this episode I talk about six ways to help you survive and thrive over the summer holidays: How planning for daily connection can make your whole day run more smoothly How investing the time in arranging for other children to be around can take the pressure of you to be the main source of fun and play. Why you don’t have to shy away from boredom and how to manage it What really creates happy childhood memories - it doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive. Why taking care of yourself is possibly the most important thing you’ll do all summer Why you should expect big feelings to arise when you spend lots of time with your kids. If you would like a copy of my free guide Solving Parenting Challenges Through Play so you don’t have to overpower your child and enter into standoffs and power struggles, then all you need to do is leave a review or share this podcast with a friend or on your social media. Let me know and I will send you a copy of the guide. Also, if you would like to learn more about putting these principles into action then come along to my next Why Your Kids Won’t Listen Masterclass taking place on 19th July. Follow me on social media @PamParentCoach: Instagram Facebook Visit my website