Ep 1.1 • From Childhood Friends to Co-Founders | BuildBetter AI’s Spencer (CEO) & Nikhil (CTO)

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Spencer Shulem, Nikhil Shinday, and Adam Stanford are co-founders of BuildBetter.

After a decade working in and around startups, Spencer and Adam started BuildBetter in 2020. Soon after, Spencer brought in his childhood friend, Nikhil, as a third co-founder and CTO. Since then, they’ve secured millions in funding from leading investors like Wing, Tidal, Surface, Village Global, and OnDeck, and Telegraph Hill Capital and made thousands of product teams around the globe more efficient.

But those are the only business stats you’ll see today. Instead, our conversation with Spencer and Nikhil focuses exclusively on the relational-side of venture building: the co-founder relationship. How did trust and respect evolve? Who owns what in the company? What's the essence of being a co-founder? And of course, what are the juiciest conflicts and how are they resolved?

In our conversation, we discuss:

• When is it right to found a company with a close friend - the risks and the rewards

• Adding a third co-founder to an existing founding team and build equal trust

• The benefits of a co-founder relationship coach

• How they managed one of the team’s biggest disagreements

• What it means to be a co-founder (at BuildBetter)

• How to have fun while building a business (e.g., using memes in Slack to define roles)

Some takeaways:

1. Not all close friends will make great co-founders - think carefully about who you work with - as Spencer says, “you're spending your life with these people, even more time than you would with your spouse” (Searching for a co-founder? See: “Finding the One and Lasting” article for tips)

2. Conflict (when done respectfully) can be one of the greatest form of intimacy and a sign of trust building up. People often share their honest opinion only when they know it will be treated with respect

3. It’s easier to have hard conversations when they are scheduled and facilitated (especially early on). Regular relationship check ins can help the team surface disagreements and create “Co-Founder Maps” (see: “Sound Relationship House for Co-Founders” article)

4. Take responsibility for your function, but also lean on your co-founders. You should respect your founding team enough that you *want* to use them as a sounding board, if not take a deeper look at if they’re the right fit

5. The expectations of a “co-founder” are subjective. Spend time defining what the co-founder role means to you; how do you want to be supported not only functionally (skillsets-wise), but also socially (as a leader, decision maker) and emotionally (during the ups and downs)?

Listen now on Spotify / Apple / YouTube / Google / Pod Website.

Where to find Spencer, Nikhil & BuildBetter:

• BuildBetter (buildbetter.ai): The product ops assistant that turns untapped data —like call recordings— into your company’s most valuable deliverables • twitter.com/BuildBetterAI • linkedin.com/company/71029926 • dribbble.com/BuildBetterApp

• Spencer, CEO & Co-Founder: linkedin.com/in/spshulem

• Nikhil, CTO & Co-Founder: twitter.com/nikhillin_it • linkedin.com/in/nikhil-shinday-24255266

Where to find Annie Garofalo, host & startup team relationship expert:

Website: confidante.info • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annie-garofalo/• Newsletter: confidante.substack.com • X: twitter.com/anniegarofal0 • Instagram: instagram.com/thecofounderconfidante • TikTok: tiktok.com/@the.cofounder.confidante

In this episode, we cover:

• [00:00:00] Episode Highlights

• [00:00:43] Welcome to How I Met My Co-Founder

• [00:01:12] Meet the Co-Founders of BuildBetter

• [00:02:09] BuildBetterTeam Origin Story

• [00:04:52] Joining as a Third Co-Founder

• [00:07:19] Building Trust as a New Addition to the Founding Team

• [00:11:14] What Does It Mean to Be a Co-Founder?

• [00:13:50] Defining Roles and Responsibilities (and Memes)

• [00:17:18] How to Talk through the Hard Stuff

• [00:18:55] Hiring a Co-Founder Relationship Coach

• [00:24:24] Loneliness as a Founder

• [00:26:23] The Biggest Conflict in Recent History

• [00:33:17] The Importance of Disagreeing and Committing

• [00:34:44] Advice for Early Stage Founding Teams

• [00:36:46] Conclusion and Final Thoughts

References & Resources:

• The Sound Relationship House: “Love Mapping” for Co-Founders: confidante.substack.com/p/the-sound-relationship-house-for-cofounders

• The Importance of Co-Founder Relationship Coaching: confidante.info/for-startups

• Theravada Buddhism and Awakening: ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4054695/

Podcast produced by www.confidante.info. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email podcast@confidante.info.

Annie may be an investor, advisor, or coach for the companies discussed.

Get full access to podcast summaries and founding team research and resources by subscribing to the newsletter at www.confidante.substack.com