The Price of Approval: Healing the Hunger for External Validation

How much of yourself have you changed just to be loved? Whether it’s shrinking, softening, or shape-shifting to fit someone else’s expectations, the hunger for external validation can be relentless. We bend, we break, we betray our own needs—hoping that if we’re just enough, we’ll finally feel worthy. But what if the love we’re chasing was never meant to be earned? This episode unpacks why we seek approval, how it erodes self-trust, and what it truly means to receive love without conditions. If you’ve ever felt like you had to perform for belonging, it’s time to rewrite the script.

This Episode Is Perfect For You If...

• You’ve spent your life proving your worth instead of believing in it
• You second-guess yourself, wondering if you’re too much or not enough
• You find yourself ignoring red flags or overgiving just to feel wanted
• You struggle with self-trust and making choices that honor your truth
• You’re ready to stop chasing approval and start claiming your own love

 

"If you have to shrink or silence or shapeshift in order for someone to love you, that’s not love. That’s a transaction."

 

In This Episode

• (00:01) – The hard truth: What will we sacrifice to be loved?

• (06:45) – How childhood conditioning teaches us that love is earned, not given

• (15:32) – The emotional cost of approval-seeking and why it’s never enough

• (24:17) – How to stop self-abandoning and start trusting yourself fully

• (35:50) – Key takeaways & closing thoughts: What would love feel like if you didn’t have to earn it?

 

"The love you’re seeking isn’t out there somewhere. It’s in here, in you. And when you own that, everything changes."

 

About The Unshakeable Self

The Unshakeable Self is your guide to building unwavering confidence and authentic self-trust. In each episode, we explore practical strategies and powerful insights to help you break free from self-doubt, embrace your true potential, and create a life that aligns with your deepest values. Whether you're navigating career transitions, relationships, or personal growth, you'll find the tools and inspiration to stand firmly in your power.

 

Your Next Step: The Unshakeable Self Starter Kit

Ready to deepen your journey? The Unshakeable Self Starter Kit includes:

• Soul-stirring journal prompts
• A grounding ritual guide
• Mindfulness coloring pages

 

DOWNLOAD YOURS TODAY

 

If you're ready to break the cycle of approval-seeking and build unshakable self-trust, check out my 1:1 coaching program, Rooted. Together, we’ll dive into the patterns that keep you stuck and help you reclaim the love, confidence, and certainty that already exist within you.

 

Resources:

Tapping - Feeling Loved and Loveable

 

Connect With Me

 

Seryna Myers

Instagram: @serynamyers 

Tiktok: @serynamyers 

YouTube: @serynamyers 

Website: www.seryna.ca
Apply to work with me: seryna.ca/apply

 

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Music by Artem Hramushkin from Pixabay