G’day and welcome to Pauline's Thursday Ponderings!
If you're a Christian - forgiving others is not an option. Matthew 6:14-15 "If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will forgive you but if you do not forgive men their sins, your heavenly father will not forgive you ."
God takes the necessity of forgiving of others very seriously. Notice it does NOT say forgive others if they are sorry for hurting you, or forgive others if you can understand why they behaved in that way. We are to forgive everyone who has wronged us full stop.
Peter, who may have been having a problem with one of the other disciples, asked Jesus ' Lord how many times do I have to forgive my brother if he keeps on wronging me?, in Matthew 18:21. "Jesus answered 'Seventy times seven!'" This means that we have to go on forgiving someone who hurts us again and again; no matter how many times they hurt us.
Please note that Jesus did not say that if we are in an abusive relationship we have to stay in it and keep on being abused. In Mark 12:31 Jesus said we should love our neighbour as we love ourselves - that means we have a responsibility to love ourselves, which means removing ourselves from relationships in which others are abusive towards us.
Forgiving someone means not telling others what they did to us so we can get sympathy. It means doing good things for them, praying for them blessing them. Matt 5:44 says love your enemies and pray for your persecutors. Luke 6:35 "Love your enemies, do good to them" and Romans 12:20 commands "If your enemy is hungry feed him."
If someone has hurt you so badly that you find you self replaying what they did in your mind. Try thinking of something kind that the person has done for you, every time their misdemeanour pops into your thinking. If that is not possible then just actively think about something completely different. It will get to the point that you can think of the person without thinking of what they did, though this can take years.
Actually, like every other thing that God asks us to do, forgiving others is in our best interests. Being angry with someone else just hurts us - it doesn't affect them. Not forgiving leads to bitterness and resentment which eats away at us from within and can lead to physical symptoms as well.
So forgiving others should be a priority if you're a Christian.