"As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home.
In Glasgow , there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes
out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy
the fifth drink."
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London , the Red
Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in Cork at my
favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you
a drink, then another, all the drinks you like.
Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see
dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of these claims. The
Irishman swore every word was true, but they asked, "Did this
actually happen to you?"
"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did
happen to me sister quite a few times".