My Parody of the oft played and unintentionally funny commercial Bruce Boxleitner does for TOPIC, a hair replacement product you sprinkle on your head to appear to have a full head of hair. My version is a little further south of the original!
"Hi, I'm Bruce Boxleitner. I want to tell you about a new product for those of you like me who have been gradually losing your hair as well as decent roles on TV. It's called Topic. You just sprinkle some on your head and it sticks to the hair that's already there. I tried all the rest, including Hair Club for Men, but I asked myself, where did they get the hair for those bald guys? Did it perhaps come from the nether regions? So I decided Topic was the better choice. Besides, it's cheaper and it works and lord knows, since Babylon 5 went off the air, the roles have been a little thin, but not my hair. So buy Topic today...you'll be glad you did and I'll be able to pay the rent on the condo this month."