Ever wonder what a proper falcon-about-town would wear on a flight? If so, you'll get your answer on tonight's show. Unfortunately, Disneyland Gay Day T-Shirt Contest II was a complete bust, so we had to address other pressing issues like Intense Dance Grandma, inappropriate Strawberry Shortcake clips, and how much Matt hates the brand Muscle Milk. You'll also get to hear a heart-warming tale of a man and his chaps, and how one of Shasta's former students was terrified of pastries. But whatever you do, just remember that in life, always save the chaps.