Who's ready for a super awesome onion story?? Just kidding, it turns out to be pretty lame. Aside from that massive letdown, tonight we end up discussing bathroom law, elephants painting, and a hippo eating a dwarf. Somewhere in between all that, we discuss the merits of naming your child Cheese, how Cards Against Humanity turns us all into horrible people, and the ultra reliable Iranian media. Plus, there's a new flavor Oreo, we discuss the possible names of a Mitt Romney themed porn, and did we mention Justin Bieber is in jail? Because yeah - that's awesome news in and of itself.