Has Matt officially saved Christmas? Does it somehow involve custom-made stripper underwear? Well, the answer is an emphatic yes to both! Find out how all this was made possible on this week's show. We discuss midget burlesque, St. Lucia, and how your iPhone may inadvertently be turning your texts into Italian. You'll also hear more of Shasta's updates on Christmas movies, Matt's opinion of Ariana Grande, and some very questionable Letters from Ashley. Lastly, you'll get a really important reminder that if you're going to tell people that you "toss salad," you'd sure as hell better know exactly what that means. Just trust us, that's good advice.