Lesson #137-Lessons learned from coaching: How to get your spouse on board
Back when I first started the show, I would group a lot of shows together and do a series on them. I love doing series because the shows have a similar theme and they build upon each other. If you look through the archives of the show you will see a variety of series I’ve done in the past.
But it hasn’t been something I’ve done recently, until now. Today I’m starting a series on lessons learned in financial coaching.
As someone who has been doing financial coaching for seven years now, I’ve noticed several reoccurring topics or themes that pop up when working with clients or talking with potential clients.
What I’ve realized is that if there are constant themes with clients, then odds are the other people are experiencing the same issues and have the same questions.
Today we start off with working together with your spouse on being on the same page financially. I choose this one first, because if you are currently married or are thinking about marriage one day, and you can’t solve this issue it doesn’t really matter about what you do for the other issues. The thing is that our money issues are probably due to a result of not being on the same page financially
What typically happens is one spouse contacts me about possibly working together. This spouse is usually the one who is “in charge” of the finances, and things aren’t going 100% well for any variety of reasons.
There is no communication with their spouse on money. It’s not necessarily that they disagree and fight all the time, although often that can be the case, but rather that there isn’t any communication to begin with and each partner is doing their own thing.
This is an issue because it is very difficult to do anything in marriage if one person is doing their own thing, doesn’t know what is going on, or is up to one spouse to do it. This not only is with our money but also in other areas of our marriage such as faith, family, housework, etc.
The thing is that I think a lot of couples get into this predicament because initially in a marriage you can “get by” without being on the same page. However once you start to earn more money, your lifestyle increases, you have children, buy a bigger home, and your children get to college the more your lack of togetherness is exposes.
Now it’s going to be hard to do something different, especially if you have never done it before. Also as a warning, if you try to talk to your spouse about money and you never have had serious conversations about it before, your situation will probably get worse before it gets better.
However, IT IS WORTH THE EFFORT!
I always tell people that these changes are good for your marriage, not just your money. By working together and beginning the conversation you will see great changes in your marriage. Now you might have some apologizing of confessions to make, but if you share why you want to change and work together, not just the what, you will start to experience a breakthrough in that area of your marriage.
Granted, this won’t be easy at first, but if you sit down, be open and honest, and see where your money is going it will be eye opening to both of you and allow you to dream again
If you want change to occur this must happen. Doing the same thing you’ve always done and expecting a different result isn’t going likely to happen.
More resources I have done on this topic:
Today's quote of the lesson is brought to you by the JW's Financial Coaching Newsletter
“One thing that is always more expensive than a good system is not having a system at all." ~ Dave Ramsey
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