TV & Film
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
[Digital Drift 2014]
Our road trip with the autobots veers off the beaten track and onto a superhighway full of exploding guns and alien car invasion. In a series defined by its crapulence this may actually be its lowest point. Billed by some as a return to form on its release in 2011, which prompted the question from others; “What form?” and from still others “What form will our destructor take?”.
We’ll tell you what form in this very podcast. If we sounded like we were in pain on the last episode we can assure you it was just the preliminary wave of agony. This one actually made my heart hurt as well as my brain.
We wished for Megan Fox to return, that’s how bad it got.
As for plot? The moon landing in 1969 was in fact a secret plot to find a thing and… weird, CGI Kennedy face. I can’t even carry on beyond that first minute. Spock is in this. A robot Spock. A robot Spock that actually manageress to defile and spin on its axis one of the greatest lines and greatest sentiments of one of the greatest sci fi movements of all time. Optimus is not only laid low in this, he is in fact unwittingly depicted as John Rambo in First Blood, only in a context far closer to Rambo III. His obvious post-traumatic stress disorder sidelined and ignored in favour of robot carnage and the American flag. A violent juxtaposition of lost themes and soulless jingoism.
It would be churlish to call this film “Evil”, it would also fall somewhat short of the mark in describing what a blight upon the world it is.
Neil Taylor of TheKidDogg
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