123: An Unpredictable Conversation About Love w/Dushka Zapata
In our world, the unspoken paradigm is that we have a finite amount of love and must allocate it accordingly. How does this negate the best parts of us? How can polyamorous people love more than one person? Can you crush on someone even if you’re in a relationship? On this episode, Dushka Zapata and I have a dialogue on heart multiplicity; a topic we don’t hear enough about.
The very best part of us is the fact that we do not have a limited amount of love. -Dushka Zapata
3 Things We Learned
There’s no such thing as weird, and there’s no such thing as normal
There are so many feelings we have that we keep hidden because we think they are weird. If we were less silent about the things we consider weird, we would find that it’s usually a universal condition. We’re not weird: we just express who we are so as to gravitate towards what is looking for us.
There’s a difference between suicide ideation and the contemplation of your mortality
There are two separate things: one is suicidal fantasies or self-sabotaging, but there is something else entirely that is universal. It’s the act of toying with your mortality, and it’s called L'appel du vide or the “call of the void”.
Give permission to your feelings
For some people, having feelings for more than one person is something fleeting and they can’t love more than one romantic partners. Others choose to be polyamorous and share their love. There’s no right or wrong way of doing things. The key is knowing your truth and not being ashamed of your feelings.
Our hearts have an expansive ability to love, but we’re conditioned to think that our capacity for love is finite. We can love many people, and each love can be its own sovereign universe. We should consider it a privilege to be granted expanding hearts. There’s no need to use our energy in the wrong direction. We can give ourselves permission to have our feelings without fear that it will threaten our relationships.
It is Free