This Too Shall Pass... And Your Troubles Shall Cease.
When I think about the past month... excessive tiredness, fatigue, dizziness, uneasiness in the chest... it all makes sense. Unfortunate... perfect sense.
Over the past 48-hours... how did I get to this current place in time? Respiratory appointments for breathing treatments, another EKG, ECG... then the diagnosis hits us like a freight train as we stand in the middle of the tracks.
When I look at photos, even our recent car karaoke video... I don't feel like the person on the video. I most definitely don't feel like the person in the most recent medical reports either. Even fooling myself to believe that the person in the pictures looks pretty darn normal. But internally... anything but medically normal. Trying to literally jump over this latest hurdle is going to prove to be one hell of a feat!
Today has started off to be... no better of a day.
I may have mastered the new regimen of one new specialist after another, but I don't look at it quite the same anymore. Instead of how I used to view appointments as mere inconveniences, when in all reality, I felt as if I had far better things to do with my time. I now view my appointments with my new specialists as a blessing. A very life-saving blessing in disguise.
What I have also changed is how I respond to mere personal perception of how others may see me as a constant complainer, negative Nelly or seeking some sort of bizarre attention. Bizarre is the minds of anyone whom believes that those who are sick are any of the above. I now see it as those who feel that way as nothing but a mere character flaw within themselves. Maybe because I never saw anyone who was sick as any sort of constant complainer, negative Nelly or seeking some sort of bizarre attention. I never felt that way when my Aunt was at the end of her journey with lung cancer. I never even saw my Grandmother who bravely battled kidney cancer as anything but a determined woman. Same for my Grandfather who stood firmly in looking directly into the eyes of prostate cancer... yet still ran mile after mile, each and every day, until he could run no longer. Those aren't people as any of the above... those are instead some god-given strong willed people. I am very proud to say... my very strong and courageous beloved family members who to this very day still watch over me from heaven.
When you surround yourself with those types of uncompassionate, inhumane, negative folks. You are only setting yourself up for mere troubles now or... later down the road. When you fear seeking medical treatment due to fear of what some may think as any of the above... then clearly you need to sit down and do some serious life inventory. No one in this lifetime who ever makes light of, pokes fun of, or belittles anyone who is sick, should ever be a part of your inventory.
You deserve so much more! You deserve far better! Especially when bravely battling any chronic illness. It isn't about seeking attention. It isn't about being negative Nelly. It isn't even about any sort of bizarre attention. When you share a piece of yourself and your struggles... no matter what they may be... you should never receive anything but pure kindness and sheer compassion from others.
My journey may have taken another unfortunate turn... but at least I now have the full support, kindness, compassion and love from others that will help keep me going.
I can only hope that if this blog post reaches just one beautiful soul out in this world that is struggling alone... that they now know you truly are never alone.
Tomorrow tis another day. Another new specialist. It hasn't been easy, but I plan on taking things one day at a time, doing my best to keep going.
Enjoy this super sweet video of a special gift we received last week! The world's largest cat tree!
"Life is going to bring you lots of ups and downs
After each storm learn to straighten your crown
Don’t let anything destroy your peace
This too shall pass... and your troubles shall cease."
It is Free