Kids & Family
S5-Ep120 - Parent in the Third Person
Charlie Munger, the business partner of Warren Buffett and Vice Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, is famous for his quote “All I want to know is where I’m going to die, so I’ll never go there.”
But it turns out that the even the jokes of super smart people are informative of how they think.
It is not enough to think about difficult problems one way. You need to think about them forwards and backward.
And as my son did his printable mazes the other day, he naturally started from the end when he got stuck. That was so cool to see.
And parenting is a problem unlike any other. It draws on so much of your biases. It draws on everything you’ve observed other parents doing. It draws on psychology and many other –ologys.
I think that parenting in the third person is a way to solve this problem backwards.
So think of a parent you respect or more preferably, one you don't. Ok, do you have his or her name in your head?
Then think of something your kid did today which drove you nuts. And think of how you handled it. Off the top of my head today I think of my son riding his bike and being all over the bike path, not just on the right side, away from traffic.
Then ask yourself how this parent that you don’t respect (I picked someone that I don’t think is an example parent). Think of how they would handle it. And don’t do that. Don’t be like that person.
For me, it helps me try to understand when I should be mad and when I shouldn’t. And back in the beginning of this podcast series, I mentioned how letting go of control is a good thing. I can’t sustain a life where I control every one of my child’s actions and reactions. First, that’s not feasible, and second, When I asked myself, “Am I doing this for control – or because it matters.” I often times came up with “control” as an answer. That’s not who I want to be. That’s probably what my nemesis would do. So I naturally try to do the opposite.
It is Free