Kids & Family:Parenting
S5-Ep213 - The Same Page as Your Partner
It’s been said that every marriage is a cross-cultural experience. And I think that’s a great way to put it because we each bring something new (and a lot of history) to the table in a marriage. And getting on the same page brings it’s own stumbling blocks, ones that we never thought to bring up or discuss before we had kids. And I may be a control freak in my own life, but I realized early on that you can (and should) prepare as much as possible – but you will never be 100% ready to have kids.
So if we can’t be 100% prepared and we are going to have to reconcile the alternative views of our partners – then are we just setting ourselves up for an argument?
I say no. But it’s going to take a few steps of walking before we can run here. First, I recommend making sure your partner is in a calm mood before talking over any specific thing. No one agrees to anything unless they feel safe in their environment. You know your partner the best, there are likely plenty of nuances which you can work in as well
Second, understand what your core values are. If you list the benefits of these values, you may be able to find common ground. If you compromise on those values, then what are you? You’d just be a sheet, blowing in the wind.
Third, be willing to accept influence. Compromise never feels perfect. So if you’re getting 100% of what you want – then you’re not compromising. There may even be a thing or two you learn. But this is a good point to bring this up: If you feel that you’ve benefited in any way from these podcasts – or had ideas brought to you which you wouldn’t have thought of otherwise, then it’s a great time to ask your partner if he or she would listen to an episode or three and then you could get their feedback on that episdode and discuss. Episodes are only 3 minutes long, so time shouldn’t be an issue.
Part of being on the same page is hearing the same information and then hashing out everyone’s view points on it. As we said before – everyone brings in their own culture to the marriage – and discussing a common topic (like one of our podcasts) can be the communication that’s gets you to a better place. We’re on itunes, Spotify, google play, and stitcher! Thanks.
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