EPISODE OVERVIEW
Have you ever Googled your symptoms and ended up convinced you were dying over a headache? That is basically what happens when we do not have a framework for sorting out what we actually believe and why. In this episode we are talking about theological triage — a system for prioritizing theological beliefs that will help you navigate church transitions, conversations with your kids, disagreements with your husband, and the moments when someone tells you that your hoop earrings are a sin. Yes. We are going there.
This is Episode 10 and it is one of the most practically useful episodes on t...
EPISODE OVERVIEW
Have you ever Googled your symptoms and ended up convinced you were dying over a headache? That is basically what happens when we do not have a framework for sorting out what we actually believe and why. In this episode we are talking about theological triage — a system for prioritizing theological beliefs that will help you navigate church transitions, conversations with your kids, disagreements with your husband, and the moments when someone tells you that your hoop earrings are a sin. Yes. We are going there.
This is Episode 10 and it is one of the most practically useful episodes on the whole feed. Do not skip it.
GROUNDING SCRIPTURE
"I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith."
— 1 Timothy 1:3-4 ESV
"The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith."
— 1 Timothy 1:5 ESV
Doctrine and love are not in competition. You cannot love people well without good doctrine and you cannot have good doctrine without love. Paul makes this plain — and so does 1 Corinthians 13, which reminds us that even the most theologically accurate person is just a clanging gong without love. It is always both. Never one or the other.
WHAT IS THEOLOGICAL TRIAGE?
Think about what happens when you walk into an emergency room. Before you see a doctor, a nurse assesses you — blood pressure, pulse, oxygen, breathing — and determines how urgent your situation is. Not every symptom gets the same level of response. That is triage.
Theological triage works the same way. It is a framework for sorting our doctrinal beliefs into three categories so we know which hills are worth dying on, which ones are worth discussing, and which ones are personal convictions we have no business pushing on anyone else.
The three categories are primary, secondary, and tertiary doctrine.
Quick note: If you want to go deeper on this framework, pastor Gavin Ortlund has written on this topic and is worth looking up.
PRIMARY DOCTRINE
The non-negotiables — the hills worth dying on
These are the core foundational truths of the Christian faith. Every true Christian church — regardless of denomination, worship style, or tradition — agrees on these. If a church does not hold to these, the question is no longer about denomination. The question is whether it is a Christian church at all.
Examples of primary doctrine:
- Jesus is God — not a god, not a prophet, not a lesser divine being, but fully God in essence equal to the Father and the Holy Spirit
- The Trinity — one God in three persons, different in function but the same in essence
- Jesus was born of a Virgin, lived a sinless life, died on the cross to satisfy the wrath of God, rose from the dead, and ascended to heaven
- Salvation through faith in Jesus Christ alone
How to check primary doctrine:
Look at the historic creeds. The Nicene Creed (established around 325 AD) and the Apostles' Creed are two of the best tools we have for identifying what the early church agreed were essential truths of the faith. These creeds were not about choosing books of the Bible — that was already established. They were about locking in on the foundational theological principles that every believer holds in common.
Important clarification: If you differ on primary doctrine — if you believe Jesus was a prophet but not God, for example — that is not a secondary issue. That is a question of whether you are a biblical Christian at all. These are the only grounds for breaking fellowship with another believer.
SECONDARY DOCTRINE
Important but not salvation-determining — the hills worth discussing
These are the theological issues that vary from church to church and denomination to denomination. They are real and they matter — they will often determine which church you attend, how you worship, and how you raise your kids. But they do not determine whether you are a Christian and they do not keep anyone out of heaven.
Examples of secondary doctrine:
- Salvation theology — predestination vs. free will
- The gifts — do you believe spiritual gifts are still active today (continuationist) or did they cease when the canon was completed (cessationist)?
- Worship style — hymns only, psalms only, contemporary Christian music, or a mix
- Baptism — infant baptism or believer's baptism
- End times views — different eschatological perspectives
- Women in ministry — various views on the role of women in church leadership
Why this matters for your family:
If you are in a church transition, these are the questions to ask. If your kids are asking theological questions you and your husband have not formally discussed, these are the conversations to have together before you answer them. Having clarity on your secondary doctrine as a family creates unity and gives your children a stable theological foundation even when they encounter different views.
The danger to avoid:
Many Christians take secondary doctrine and elevate it to primary doctrine — treating their particular view on end times or worship style or spiritual gifts as if it were as essential as the resurrection. This creates unnecessary division and makes an already narrow path even narrower. We do not want to break fellowship with a brother or sister over something scripture gives us room to disagree on.
TERTIARY DOCTRINE
Personal convictions — the hills not worth dying on at all
These are the areas of personal conviction that do not apply to every believer in the same way. They are not black and white in scripture. They fall within what Paul calls our Christian liberties — the space where we are free to practice according to our own conscience before God as long as we are not sinning.
"All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up."
— 1 Corinthians 10:23 ESV
"The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof."
— 1 Corinthians 10:26 ESV
"Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."
— 1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV
Examples of tertiary doctrine:
- Whether you celebrate certain holidays
- Dietary choices and convictions
- Certain clothing standards (yes — including hoop earrings)
- Political views
- Specific hobbies or entertainment choices
- Personal standards around modesty beyond what scripture requires
Three verses to guide your Christian liberties:
Philippians 4:8 ESV — "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Use this as a filter.
2 Timothy 2:22 — Pursue the Lord from a pure heart.
James 3:17 — Seek wisdom first above all things.
The real danger of tertiary doctrine:
When personal convictions get pushed on others as though they were scripture — especially on younger or newer believers — it causes confusion, unnecessary guilt, and a distorted view of what Christianity actually requires. If someone's personal conviction is that she should not wear big hoop earrings, that is between her and God. It is not a command she gets to hand down to the 17-year-old sitting next to her in the pew.
Push your convictions on your own conscience. Not on everyone else's.
HOW TO USE THIS IN REAL LIFE
Choosing a church:
Start with primary doctrine — does this church hold to the essential truths of the gospel as expressed in the Nicene and Apostles' Creeds? If yes, move to secondary doctrine — how does their theology align with where your family is? If you can find alignment on the primary and reasonable alignment on the secondary, you have found a church worth committing to. Do not let tertiary differences keep you out of a good church.
Conversations with your kids:
When your child asks a theological question, run it through the triage first. Is this a primary issue? Settle it clearly from scripture and the creeds. Is this a secondary issue? Talk it through with your husband and come to a family position together. Is this tertiary? Teach them to develop their own convictions before God rather than just inheriting yours.
Conversations with other believers:
Know which category the disagreement falls in before you engage. If it is primary — stand firm, graciously and clearly. If it is secondary — have the conversation with humility and respect. If it is tertiary — let it go. Not every conversation needs to be a debate and not every difference needs to be resolved.
COMING UP NEXT
Are denominations helpful or hurtful to the church? And how do you prayerfully consider whether your denomination is right for your family? That is the next episode — do not miss it.
SCRIPTURES REFERENCED
- 1 Timothy 1:3-5 ESV — the weight and aim of sound doctrine
- 1 Corinthians 13 — without love, doctrine is a clanging gong
- 1 Corinthians 10:23-31 ESV — Christian liberties and conscience
- Philippians 4:8 ESV — a filter for Christian liberty decisions
- 2 Timothy 2:22 — pursuing the Lord from a pure heart
- James 3:17 — seeking wisdom first
RESOURCES MENTIONED
- The Nicene Creed — search it; written around 325 AD; the foundational statement of Christian primary doctrine
- The Apostles' Creed — a companion creed; another excellent primary doctrine reference
- Gavin Ortlund — pastor and author who has written on theological triage and which hills are worth dying on
- Episode 9 (previous episode) — referenced but not named
- Episode 11 (next episode) — Denominations: helpful or hurtful?
JOIN THE CONVERSATION
Drop a comment below — if you are comfortable, share one thing you were taught growing up that you later realized was tertiary doctrine being treated as primary or secondary. Was it a dress code? A worship style? A holiday conviction? A personal standard someone else handed you as though it were scripture?
You are not alone. And knowing the difference changes everything.
If this episode helped you, share it with a friend who is navigating a church transition or a theological disagreement in her marriage. And leave a review — it helps more wives and moms find the show. 🤍
This is Miki with in case i forget — theology and testimony for busy wives and moms.
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