S2E2- 🌕♉️ My Real Life Disorganized field on the journey to Secure Attachment- Marital “Discord Mode” with Kevin

(This season is related to the show “Severance”- season 1 aired in 2022 on Apple)

How is it that, once you start tracking power, rank, and privilege- you start noticing how the invitation for liberation is always bottom-up?  How do we reach for authenticity in relationships where one person’s pain activates the other’s shame response?  How can we utilize ritual to metabolize and mobilize disorganization while practicing security?  Can cis-het women practice pleasure through embodying moments of the “Mediocre Sitcom Dad” archetype?

Kristyn with a Why engages in an emotionally raw “discord mode” with her partner Kevin. If you like Reality TV- especially fraught emotional predicaments based on historical abandonment wounds and attachment patterns, you may really enjoy this “Reality Podcast.”  

Please tend to your nervous system and listen with caution, while moving/tasking, and/or taking many breaks, or even consider skipping this episode altogether.  Be kind and compassionate to yourself. 💖

(See time stamps and links to the scenes, songs, and resources mentioned in the podcast below.)

0-5:18- Intro, locating this episode post US election, edited on Nov 6th

5:31-13:00- My Reality Podcast, Persephone making Hades listen

13-15:00- Overview of the three parts

15:00-18:00- Intro Part 1, Marriage Ritual, and Content Warning

Part 1 (Recorded Oct 23rd)

18:13-33:20- Ani DiFranco giving Kristyn purpose, the small request that is HUGE, laying to rest her tendency to protect Kevin from her authenticity companioned by Helly’s sacred “FUCK NO!”

33:20-38:16- “Bottom up” versus “top down” strategies for reintegration (What was the protocol that Petey ignored?)

Part 2 (Recorded Oct 23rd, 2 hours after pt 1)

38:26- 1:14:41- Kevin’s  impulse to want to be absolved of culpability in holding space for kristyn's pain, the usefulness of guilt vs shame, the difference in consistency and perfection, the “Capital R” Request of not activating her trauma, and “small r” requests to “plump up her amygdala”  How Kristyn and Kevin’s fear of failure manifests in opposite actions, introducing the archetype of the “Mediocre Sitcom Dad”

Part 3(Recorded Oct 28th)

1:15:00-end Kevin and Kristyn Summarize events of the previous 5 days, and an unrecorded conversation, how Jacob Collier’s Little Blue gave Kevin “bottom up” clarity, “Discord Mode” requires different practices than other modes of conversation (and based on the Power Rank and Privilege), revisiting the “mediocre SHITcom dad”, and the profound practice of the community care that is sourdough.

#severance #attachment #disorganizedattachment #anidifranco #hadestown #reghabi #liberation #imnoheroine #couplestherapy #realityTV #jacobcollier #littleblue #mediocresitcomdad #kevincanfhimself #sourdough

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Grateful for all the learning and inspiration in today’s episode:

My teacher Carmen Spagnola for her marriage miniseries, courses on Secure attachment, Contact Nutrition, and collapse on The Numinous Network 

Roadmap to Liberation with Rev. angel Kyodo williams

As always:----------------------------------

Thankful for the musical inspiration for the theme song:

Hadestown by Anais Mitchell, specifically “Our Lady of the Underground” and Orpheus’ Song

“Hedwig’s Theme” by John Williams

Shout out for the artistic assistance of:

Matt Schubbe (Logo)

Kevin Carlow (Music and sound editing)

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