#118: When He Thinks Her Anger Is Too Much - Part 2

2026-04-17

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In this episode, we continue unpacking our discussion about what to do when HE thinks her anger is too much. To start with, we talk about how, from a Biblical perspective, we are taught NOT to get angry - see James 1:19 for an example. Most women we work with struggle to get angry. Therefore, our starting point with women is that her anger is NOT too much. AND - there are times when the expression of rage can be unhelpful. (I hope that isn't too confusing!) Jason then jumps in and talks through his Biblical resear...

In this episode, we continue unpacking our discussion about what to do when HE thinks her anger is too much.

To start with, we talk about how, from a Biblical perspective, we are taught NOT to get angry - see James 1:19 for an example. Most women we work with struggle to get angry. Therefore, our starting point with women is that her anger is NOT too much. AND - there are times when the expression of rage can be unhelpful. (I hope that isn't too confusing!)

Jason then jumps in and talks through his Biblical research on anger - sharing that there are at least eight different words for anger. They fall into three categories:

Smoldering, simmering expression of anger, always there, wanting to explode. (Can be expressed in an unhealthy way.)
Violent outbursts of anger due to provocation (can be expressed in an unhealhty way).
Godly anger that is a settled disposition - something opposed to what God says is right, good, and true, and it makes us mad. ( This is an ideal, controlled anger that we want to move toward.) See John 2:17.

We will experience ALL of these types of anger. What we want to do is be aware of them and be careful in how we express them, especially the first two.

I end with reflection questions for her:

#1 - Prior to this relationship, were there issues with anger for you? If so, it's an area that needs attention.

#2 - Is there movement on the back end? As in - is the anger productive? Were you able to reflect on the back end - and is it guiding you to clarity?

#3 - Are you moving toward the settled disposition, where you are getting clarity and able to own the anger?

We wrap up by discussing: there are times when she will apologize for her anger, and if that happens, meeting her with much tenderness and gentleness is imperative.

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