Jane: The Wound Beneath the Joy

Jane’s adoptive parents had only two weeks' notice of her arrival! At twelve days old, Jane was taken to her new family who lived on the Isle of Wight, an island off the south coast of England.

The children’s social worker was not best pleased when a file landed on her desk informing her of a privately arranged adoption, a ‘fait accompli’ of which she was openly very critical.

The year was 1964, and Jane reports always having felt very grateful that fate brought her and her wonderful parents together. Infertility following a bout of polio, which left her dad disabled and a paraplegic, had seemingly put paid to the couple’s dreams of having a family.

With very limited income and precarious health, the couple nevertheless provided a stable and loving home for Jane, sharing their faith, values, and commitment to always supporting each other through whatever life threw at them.

Jane was a quiet and unassuming child who enjoyed learning and was able to self-occupy. She enjoyed the uniqueness of her family setup but always yearned for a ‘ co- conspirator’ or playmate to get up to mischief with and unleash her playful side.

She married her childhood sweetheart, and they went on to have five children, enjoying the closeness of a busy family life with much support from Jane's adopted parents, who were very much adored and influential grandparents.

An unexpected health scare and major operation shortly before her 60th birthday prompted Jane to embark on a journey of therapy and an exploration and understanding of the wounds that the trauma of relinquishment leaves, with the lifelong impact of this on the adoptee's life.

Although Jane has had a very happy, blessed, and fulfilled life, these wounds are an integral part of who she is, and there will always be a sadness just underneath the surface, which rears its head at odd times but especially on Jane’s birthday.

Season 11: Adoptee Memoirs - books in order:

Practically Still a Virgin by Monica Hall

You Can't Get Rid of Me by Jesse Scott and Keri Ault

Unspoken by Liz Harvie

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RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

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