We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Things can only get better! Labour are on track for an election victory larger than Blair’s in 1997. Don’t worry, be happy. Can The Guardian find its fun side? A reporter goes to a ballpit to find out. Plus – Why can’t we be friends? The i works out the perfect number of mates.
Jacob Jarvis is joined by TLDR News lead writer Ben Blissett and master impressionist Jan Ravens.
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Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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Rishi Sunak, tax liar – The Times: Save Germany’s nudists! – Could YOU marry a toff?
Sunak vs. Starmer debate: Who was the winner? – The new horrible TikTok shopping trend – Mind the age gap? It’s time to talk about cougars
Oh no, Farage is back – Nadine Dorries: Ghost Whisperer? – How to spot a voice note w*nker
Sunak Vs Starmer: Let's get ready to rumble – Rupert Murdoch gets hitched (again) – Meet Britain’s most ‘terrifying’ journalist
Trump: Guiltiest man on earth – Is Will Smith a bad boy for life? – Want to ignore the election? Watch sh*t TV!
The Diane Abbott clusterf*ck – Cardi G! Southgate cardigan mania hits – Meet the judgiest Gen Z person EVER
Victory is sweet for Angela Rayner – Robert de Niro calls out Donald Trump – Stop working old-school comedians to death!
Is Sunak trying to lose the election? – Tech bros and Tradwives: Meet the world’s worst parents – Broken Holmes! Eamonn and Ruth split
Sunak’s latest campaign blunders – “Oh no! Mum’s on Ket!” – Yeehaw! Inside country’s 2024 comeback
Where’s brolly? Soggy Sunak calls a Genny Lecs – Bloomin’ Hell: inside the Chelsea Flower Show – Greatest albums list annoys everyone
Minister makes first class fool of himself – Would you go ‘boy sober?’ – Reality TV Weddings: the full horror
True horror of infected blood scandal revealed – Nadine Dorries vs. the Cotswolds – Does Bridgerton need more misery?
Baby Rein-Keir! Real-life ‘Martha’ targets Starmer – The cost of wedding crisis – Inside the Bennifer break-up
Jeremy Clarkson: World’s sexiest man? – Reality Bites: TV influencers up on finance charges – The Times’s mad summer fashion diktats
Assassination attempt on Slovak PM – The dark(er) side of OnlyFans – Why do we love slagging off other people’s weddings?
Esther McVey hates rainbows – Can spreadsheets fix your sex life? – Gran with a Flan! OAPs vs foodies
Trump fumes as “pitbull” Cohen testifies – Art failure! New York-Dublin video portal gets messy – Escape your phone for just £72
Panicky Sunak launches Project Fear – Dogs mania at Cannes Film Festival – Menswear guru’s verdict on Britain’s politicians
What's going on with Eurovision? – The return of Dominic Cummings – Would you let your husband pick your outfits?
Outrage as Natalie Elphicke joins Labour – The world's worst blind date – Why the Dutch are taking your phone away
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