Good Girl or Bad Daughter: who are you?

Masala Podcast is back with the Bad Daughter miniseries. Where we carry on exploring taboo topics, have provocative conversations and challenge patriarchy. Let's go!

GOODBYE GOOD GIRL, HELLO BAD DAUGHTER!

Are you constantly editing yourself, tweaking yourself, minimising yourself to fit into what the world wants you to be? In this episode, I’ll be exploring Good Girl vs Bad Daughter. In fact, we're throwing the good girl script out the window. Because I promise you, when we own our Bad Daughter self - that’s when we really start living our lives. Are you ready?

I was taught so many rules about being the "good daughter":

1. Don't speak too loudly.
2. Don't take up space.
3. Don't question elders.
4. Don't prioritise your dreams.
5. Don't, don't, don't.

It's not just in South Asian culture, women in every culture are taught to be a good girlfriend, a good sister, a good wife, good colleague and so on.

HOW DOES THIS GOOD GIRL IDEA AFFECT US?

Women grow up in a world that teaches us to shrink ourselves, to make ourselves smaller in order to be more palatable to everyone else. Here are some stats:

1. 56% of women feel pressure to be likeable versus 36% of men.
2. 65% women feel that being liked is core to their character.'
3. 50% of all women say they hold back their true opinions to be liked
4. 35% of women try to “smile more” to be liked

Source: Good Girls Report © Good Shout Community 2025

WHAT PRACTICAL STEPS CAN YOU TAKE?

It feels like an uphill battle but there are things you can do. We start by going to the source of where our beliefs where shaped. Take a piece of paper and write a few things down:

1. What "good daughter" rules did you learn growing up?
2. Which of these rules still influence your choices today?
3. What price have you paid for following these rules?
4. What dreams, desires, or parts of yourself have you set aside to remain "good"?

Now choose ONE "good daughter" rule that you're ready to question. Write it down on a piece of paper, exactly as you learnt it. For example: "Good daughters always ……….

Here comes the fun bit: tear that paper up and see how good it feels!

WANT MORE? CHECK OUT MY BOOK BAD DAUGHTER

I was called a “Bad Daughter” for defying the rigid expectations placed on “good Indian girls.” But in my rebellion, I found my voice. Nothing could stop me. Not a harrowing childhood in a Mumbai slum, not my father’s violence, not even my mother’s brutal violence. With a fire in my belly, I battled patriarchy, built a new life in London, creating a successful podcast & platform to inspire other women to find their own freedom. I also went on a massive healing journey with psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, EMDR, acupuncture to Tantra as well as going back to my roots in tropical temples in Kerala (I share all the details in my book!)

Bad Daughter is a feminist story of resilience and unapologetic survival as well as a rousing, inspiring invitation to go after your dreams.

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Mentioned in this episode:

The Anti-Retreat in tropical Kerala

Real Kerala spirituality. Real sisterhood. No wellness BS. 8 Days, 7 Nights | 4-11 Feb 2026 | Kerala Backwaters Welcome to The Anti-Retreat. None of the usual yoga babes clutching “chai” lattes here! Just a real reatreat in a beautiful Kerala backwaters resort. You start and end your days with chanting and meditation in sync with the rhythms of Mother Nature. You soak up the energy of this bewitching land land with walking meditations, ancient Kerala rituals & visits to sacred goddess temples. You feast on traditional Kerala food. You connect deeper with yourself every day through a series of daily workshops. You connect with your sisters through a series of practises. The best bit? You connect with local women and women-led businesses (because your money supports them!) You’ll experience things that no tourist ever would. Are you ready?