Boy, do we take things for granted, or what? I mean, sure we could dedicate our precious moments toward considering the possibility of where we might be if these ant piles called cities weren’t constructed before our birth, but who the heck has time to reflect on the persistence of humanity and how it scratched its way to the top of the food chain when there are malls to scope and Taco Bells to ring?
I know what you’re thinking, here we go again with a rant about the annoyances of a complacent civilization. But it’s just that if we don’t wake up and smell the couch pillow, shit’s gonna get outta hand and we’re going to be running from T-Rexes.
At a Jurassic Park in Texas.
Where were we? Oh yes, running from ravenous, razor-toothed sprinters with a preference for anything stoned and lazy that smells like refried beans. And I can promise you that there were many a hairier poor dude back in the day who ended up a delicious buffet for wild beasts who didn’t give a shit about him missing his orthodontics appointment. And you can rest assured that the main factor that kept those far more ill-equipped savages taking risks by venturing beyond the safety of their comfortable cave was to create a better future for their lineage so that those offspring could have easy access to packets of fire sauce.
So, please keep in mind that the food that arrives on your doorstep hot and delicious with fresh ingredients is not something you truly have license to throw a tantrum about because it came three minutes late. When your sense of entitlement proves that overpopulation is the biggest risk to our mental and physical ability to continue as a species, try to remember that if it weren’t for systems put into place for your protection, not only would you be speaking German and eating Schnitzel for breakfast, but you might be breakfast.
Or you could be sent to live in Texas.
#269 - Pot Purri (Originally Posted as Episode #18)
#268 - LMFAO (Originally Posted as Episode #36)
#267 - Sometimes You Fart (Originally Posted as Episode #153)
#266 - Karate Kids (Originally Posted as Episode #39)
#265 - Trigger Happy (Originally Posted as Episode #159)
#264 - Smart Idiots (Originally Posted as Episode #152)
#263 - You Are a Narcissist (Originally Posted as Episode #140)
#262 - Getting Turnt (Originally Posted as Ep 144)
#261 - Sorry Alexa (Originally Posted as episode #142)
#260 - Respect the Rat (Originally Posted as Episode #137)
#259 - I'll Believe It When I See It (Originally Posted as Episode #131)
#258 - I Share That Sediment (Originally Posted as Episode #136)
#257 - Staying Alive is Dangerous (Originally Posted as Episode #135)
#256 - Marriage Is Necessary Not (Originally Posted as Episode #123)
#255 - The Guy Who Waves Too Much (Originally Posted as Episode #132
#254 - Remote No Control (Originally Posted as Episode #124)
#253 - Moral Dilemmas (Originally Posted as Episode #121)
#252 - Mosquitos Suck (Originally Posted as Episode #116)
#251 - Grouchlock (Originally Posted as Episode #107)
#250 - People And Their Annoying Kids (Originally Posted as Episode #22)
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