Avoidance is one of the most common reactions to emotional pain. It shows up as silence, staying busy, withdrawing, shutting down, or convincing yourself that “things will sort themselves out.” At first it feels protective. Over time, it becomes its own form of suffering and keeps couples stuck in the very patterns they’re trying to escape.In this episode, Geoff and Jody explore how avoidance operates in both partners after betrayal and how safely facing difficult truths creates genuine movement in the relationship.What We Cover:For the Betra...
Avoidance is one of the most common reactions to emotional pain. It shows up as silence, staying busy, withdrawing, shutting down, or convincing yourself that “things will sort themselves out.” At first it feels protective. Over time, it becomes its own form of suffering and keeps couples stuck in the very patterns they’re trying to escape.
In this episode, Geoff and Jody explore how avoidance operates in both partners after betrayal and how safely facing difficult truths creates genuine movement in the relationship.
What We Cover:
For the Betrayed Partner
Why avoidance often becomes a survival response
How overwhelm, exhaustion, and cultural pressure to “keep the peace” silence your real needs
The difference between consciously pausing and unconsciously shutting down
For the Recovering Partner
How shame and fear fuel hiding, minimizing, and delaying accountability
Why avoidance blocks repair and prolongs fear
The honest question every recovering partner must answer
For the Couple
How both partners can slip into a shared pattern of avoidance
Why comfort, silence, and homeostasis can feel safer than truth
How one partner naming avoidance begins to shift the entire dynamic
Remember...avoidance feels safe in the moment, but it interrupts healing.
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Download the Free Resource: You, Me, Us - A Way Forward After Betrayal
When betrayal has shaken your relationship, it can feel impossible to know where to begin. This free 15-minute video and companion worksheet will help you steady yourself, support your partner, and begin caring for the relationship between you. Get your copy here.
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Join the Courageous Together™ Program
Courageous Together™ isn’t just another course, it’s a trauma-informed roadmap that holds both of you in the healing process. If you’ve ever wondered “Where do we even start?” After betrayal, this program gives you the clarity and structure you need. It meets the betrayed partner’s need for safety while guiding the recovering partner toward real accountability, creating a path forward that neither of you has to figure out on your own.
You’ll have access to:
A structured healing framework with step-by-step guidance
Video lessons and worksheets to build safety, accountability, and connection
The option to join live group circles and support calls with me
A private, secure community of others walking the same path
Learn more and join us inside Courageous Together: www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together
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Watch on YouTube
Prefer video? You can watch full episodes of From Crisis to Connection on our YouTube channel: youtube.com/@FromCrisistoConnectionPocast.
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About Geoff Steurer
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) with 25+ years of experience helping individuals and couples heal from the devastation of sexual betrayal and broken trust. I am the founder of the Courageous Together program, co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, and co-author of Love You, Hate the Porn. My work integrates trauma-informed care, attachment theory, and practical tools for creating lasting safety and connection. I’ve been married to my wife, Jody, since 1996 and we are the parents of four children.
About Jody Steurer
Jody is the co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, where she brings her thoughtful, common-sense perspective to conversations about healing, trust, and connection. She earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA-certified coach. Jody has years of experience in corporate training, small business leadership, and family life, and raising four children (two of them neurodivergent). She loves watercolor painting, landscape design, spending time outdoors, and snow skiing.
