The Three Things Working Against Your Friendships

Suzy Welch was standing in her kitchen when the phone rang. Her best friend's voice was different before she even said a word. "I can't be friends with you anymore," she said — and hung up. It was the last time they spoke for fifteen years.

There's no word for that kind of loss. No apparatus, no ceremony, no bereavement leave, no language for losing a friend the way there is for a marriage or a family. This week on Becoming You, Suzy digs into why.

She starts with the data on The Values Bridge value of Belonging — a value that lands dead center for most people, #8 out of 16, and is the value of friendship, community, and being part of the group. Only 1% of people have it as their #1 value. Suzy talks with one such person, Rachel Gillman Rischall of The Connection Code, about what it's like to live Belonging as a top value, runs down the three biggest eurekas she had preparing for this episode, and sits down with NYU Stern's friendship expert Julianna Pillemer to discuss the surprising science of friendship at work.

Finally, Suzy reunites with Sue Jacobson, the friend from that phone call, to talk about what really happened, why it took fifteen years to find out, and what brought them back.

Come along, my friends.

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