Vince says it's been a fantasy for most guys to be in a p*rn. Is that true? Maybe because when you watch, you fantasize you're the person in the video? So what happens when the fantasy becomes real? Is it everything you expected? What if you got stage freight?
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Transcript
[0:00:00] Vince: You get there and camera man setting up his stuff. Then the actress got there and I talked to her and he was still setting up his stuff. And then I got time to, like, shoot the thing and it was just I mean, it was I couldn't really get it going. No.
[0:00:22] Brianne Davis: Welcome to the Secret Life Podcast. Tell me your secret, I'll tell you mine. Sometimes you have to go through the darkness to reach the light. That's what I did. After twelve years of recovery in sex and love addiction, I finally found my soulmate myself. Please join me in my novel, secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict. A four time bestseller on Amazon. It's a brutal, honest, raw, gnarly ride, but hilarious at the same time. Check it out now on Amazon. Welcome to Secret Live Podcast.
I'm Brianne Davis-Gantt. Today I'm pulling back the curtains of all kinds of human secrets. We'll hear about what people are hiding from themselves or others.
[0:01:12] Brianne Davis: You know, those deep, dark secrets you probably want to take to your grave, or those lighter, funnier secrets that are just plain embarrassing, really. You know, how, what, when, where, live it all today. My guess is Vince. Now, Vince, I have a question for you. What is your secret?
[0:01:30] Vince: My secret is I've acted in amateur porn films.
[0:01:33] Brianne Davis: Oh, yay. Okay, let's talk about it. When did you do that?
[0:01:40] Vince: The first thing I did was.
[0:01:44] Brianne Davis: Five years ago.
[0:01:46] Vince: Yeah. And then it was for a period of it wasn't anything like glamorous. It was just sort of very amateur stuff. But for a period, for about two and a half years, it wasn't very many. It was probably eight.
[0:02:04] Brianne Davis: Does anybody in your family or friends know?
[0:02:08] Vince: No.
[0:02:10] Brianne Davis: I'm getting so excited right now. I love a good secret. Secret.
[0:02:14] Vince: Yeah. People who know me and know my personality, that would be the last thing, the last thing ever they would ever think.
[0:02:26] Brianne Davis: Okay, let's go back five years ago. What was going on in your life before that? Can you say your occupation?
[0:02:34] Vince: Yeah, I can say it. I'm a musician and I also do a little teaching, too. So you asked what was going on before that?
[0:02:44] Brianne Davis: Yeah. What's going on before?
[0:02:47] Vince: I can tell you. I was just kind of living my normal life. But what happened was I think that sort of was the impetus for it, was I had lost some weight and got into better shape. And it was always something I mean, I had, like, these ambitions. It was always something that I had sort of found. I guess most guys would sort of fantasize about that when they're watching porn. Can I do that? Yeah. Could I ever do that?
[0:03:18] Brianne Davis: Is that a fantasy for guys? I didn't know that.
[0:03:20] Vince: Maybe not an official fantasy, but it must be something that most guys think, like, wow, could I do that? I wonder if I could do that. I wonder how I'd be, that kind of thing. So I had always thought that and I had a friend, a close friend, and we always kind of joked about, yeah, we should make some amateur porn and produce it or something. It was just one of those things you say when you have a few drinks. It was something that you never because I feel like it's sort of a line you cross and once you do that, in some ways it's out there forever and then it's kind of like there's no coming back from it. Not that it's going to cause a disaster. Yeah, exactly.
[0:03:59] Brianne Davis: But I have a question. Did you used to always watch a lot of porn? When did you first see porn? When you were younger, do you remember?
[0:04:09] Vince: In fact, I'm a little older. I mean, this was the 90s before the internet, really. So I think I was in high school, someone had a video or something like that. But when I really started watching it, I guess with the rise of the tube sites like pornhub and I guess 2008, 2009 when the free content started coming online, then I became more of a watcher.
[0:04:39] Brianne Davis: I just remember I saw it so young, the skin of Ax, you know, and it would come in fuzzy on the TV and you'd kind of be able to see it.
[0:04:48] Vince: Yeah, sure.
[0:04:51] Brianne Davis: We didn't have money, obviously. My parents didn't have money to pay for it. So we'd be like, oh, you can kind of see what's going on.
[0:04:58] Vince: Yeah, yeah, that's 2008. 2009. I remember when I first heard about pornhub, I couldn't believe it. I mean, there was free before that. There were some sites that would have I think in 2007 or 2008 there were sites that would have little clips, just little clips for movies. Pornhub was kind of revolutionary in a lot of ways. It was bad. I don't know how anyone in that industry really makes money whenever they actually don't anymore.
[0:05:31] Brianne Davis: Unless they produce it themselves, they don't really make money.
[0:05:34] Vince: Exactly. So yeah, that's when I started really watching it. I had a desktop computer before that, but then I got a laptop and I had an iPad too. Although I never got this into the iPad. It's like it's sort of like cocaine or something.
[0:05:51] Brianne Davis: It's a complete addiction. No, I actually deal with a lot of mostly men, but still a lot of women, they are addicted to porn. It's that fantasy. The fantasy becomes the reality more than the reality.
[0:06:05] Vince: Yeah, exactly. So 2009 issue so I started watching more and then I think there was this process of desensitization too, because it just becomes normal. And that's I think when I really started thinking more about first it was just watching it and then I started thinking about like, wow, it's just more of a fantasy. Can I do this? Can I be in a room full of people? And really it just takes a certain breed, I thought.
[0:06:42] Brianne Davis: I would say it probably does have a little bit of that exhibitionism going on.
[0:06:47] Vince: Exactly. So the seeds of that whole thing, I guess, started there. I had lost some weight started losing some weight in 2017. And then I got down to I wasn't super heavy and I wasn't really heavy growing up. I had gained weight in my twenties and 30s, but then I had gotten back down to a decent weight, and I just that that idea was still there, that had been there, that sort of fantasy about it. And then I thought, I don't know, I was reaching out to some people online, okay.
[0:07:20] Brianne Davis: And talking about in a chat group or something.
[0:07:24] Vince: There were people it's sort of related to some things I was doing too. Maybe in a way, I kind of had a sexual addiction. I was seeing dominatrixes and stuff.
[0:07:35] Brianne Davis: Wait, pause. Wait. You were seeing dominatrix? Is that another secret?
[0:07:42] Vince: That was something I shared with some friends, not with family, but that was something I had shared with some friends. That was something I wasn't, and that was not really sexual. It was all sort of control. I mean, it was sexual in a sense. I wasn't having sex with them. I was experimenting with bondage and that kind of thing. So that kind of further wet my appetite for that world and further got me acclimated to that world. You had asked, yeah, there were a few dominatrix. Dominatrix CS. Would that be the plural? I always say dominatrix, but there are a few that I had kind of worked with a little bit. I could say a client of. And then I had mentioned it with them. And what happened, how I really started was at the time, I was going on Craigslist, and since they maybe changed it, but there were ads for models and that kind of thing, and it's coded a little bit, but you kind of know what it's about. So I think it was an ad that I saw for Men wanted for some amateur stuff.
[0:08:53] Vince: Again, this was nothing like glamorous. This is like real gonzo stuff where you're shooting in someone's apartment.
[0:08:59] Brianne Davis: Honestly, I don't think a lot of them are glamorous.
[0:09:05] Vince: But yeah, actually, I'm wrong about that. What would happen was, okay, this is what it was. There was a dominatrix that I was seeing, and her, I don't know if it was her husband or boyfriend, they were making some amateur content and they wanted me to audition.
[0:09:19] Brianne Davis: Did you?
[0:09:20] Vince: I did. Yes, I did.
[0:09:22] Brianne Davis: Okay. That's what you have to take it through. So take us through the audition process for an amateur porn.
[0:09:29] Vince: Okay. And I know her a little bit. I got comfortable with her, but I had never met her husband or boyfriend. She said, yeah, he films the stuff and I'll direct it. And it was just basically like a solo scene just to see if I could do the stuff on camera. So we set up a time and went to her apartment and it was like, you want the details?
[0:09:53] Brianne Davis: Yes.
[0:09:54] Vince: Okay. So it's basically like she was on camera, like her husband was operating the camera, and she had said, can you really do this in front of my husband's going to be operating the camera? And I was like, Whoa, man.
[0:10:05] Brianne Davis: Were you nervous?
[0:10:07] Vince: Yeah, I was definitely nervous. And I thought my sexual experiences involved women. They weren't really like men or brown, you know what I mean? Is this going to be weird? Can I do this? But again, to me, I think there is sort of like a sexual addiction aspect to it because it was like this charge, like this rush. It was almost like that part of my brain was really like a drug. It's like, I remember driving there and calling my friend and saying, I'm really going to do this. And she was just like, you're crazy. She sort of thought it was funny. So I went in and then I met him and he was filming. I think he just had, like, an iPhone or something. I can't remember what he was using exactly. And she said, okay, we talked about what we're going to do. And she said, she's directing me and he's filming.
[0:10:53] Vince: And it was just basically like, strip and take all your clothes off. And you kind of do your solo scene where you have to masturbate into completion and they want to kind of see if you can do that on camera.
[0:11:05] Brianne Davis: So was it easy? Was it hard? How was the outcome of that audition?
[0:11:13] Vince: Believe it or not, that outcome was good. It was good. It was fairly easy.
[0:11:22] Brianne Davis: Okay.
[0:11:23] Vince: Yeah.
[0:11:24] Brianne Davis: So you're driving away and then what's your thought?
[0:11:28] Vince: It kind of just went my appetite for more. I thought, like, wow, because I can remember he was this kind of burly dude and he's filming it, but she can be seen and heard on camera. She didn't participate. She was basically directing it. It's like, okay, do this. She's, like, encouraging me and directing it, and he's filming. But, yeah, I was able to do it and get right into it. I wasn't nervous. It was like, all right, strip. And I was like, Bam. I don't know, I just sort of became this character or whatever, but I felt like it was an aspect of me. It felt fine, really. It wasn't like, I did it and I thought, oh, my God, what have I done? I was cool with it. Okay, yeah, so we did that and then after that but see, I'm in an area, I don't want to say exactly where I am, but I'm not in La.
[0:12:16] Vince: I'm not in a big city like.
[0:12:18] Brianne Davis: You'Re in a small town somewhere.
[0:12:19] Vince: Yes. Things move slowly. So I did that in the fall of in the fall. And then I didn't do anything again until I had another friend who was I saw who was a dominatrix, and he was trying to get into filming content. And we filmed the scene, and it was more like this, too. It was more like a solo scene. It was more like a domination theme.
[0:12:41] Brianne Davis: Were you getting dominated or was she getting done?
[0:12:43] Vince: I was getting dominated, yes.
[0:12:45] Brianne Davis: Got you.
[0:12:45] Vince: And we kind of worked out the scene. It was kind of like the same situation. And we did that, and I knew her pretty well, so I was comfortable with that. That went well. But I can tell you where things started to really go off the tracks, where I hit some roadblocks.
[0:12:58] Brianne Davis: Let's do it.
[0:13:00] Vince: I have these two scenes under my belt, and I think I'm a pro.
[0:13:04] Brianne Davis: You're like, I got.
[0:13:08] Vince: That. I did the second thing in the wintertime. Then I remember by that. I had hooked up with this cameraman who had done, like, legitimate things. He had filmed some legitimate stuff around town. Like, he was an editor and he was, like, a real camera guy. He wanted to get into this stuff and he wanted to produce some videos, so I hooked up with him. Now, this was, like, my first real boy girl shoot. This was that spring, the following spring, in May. And there was an actress. He was basically producing it, an actress he got from out of town. She was from New England or something. But she had done some stuff like she was nice, cool and everything. And he got her for the scene. And I had checked out some of her stuff and I talked to her on the phone.
[0:13:53] Vince: She was really cool. So she came in from Connecticut or whatever she drove in, and he had gotten this room at the Holiday Inn.
[0:14:00] Brianne Davis: In the Holiday Inn?
[0:14:02] Vince: Yeah.
[0:14:03] Brianne Davis: I love it.
[0:14:05] Vince: So I remember the night before that, I was a little nervous, but I was like, I don't know.
[0:14:09] Brianne Davis: Wait, my question for you. Were you getting paid at this time.
[0:14:12] Vince: Or no, I was barely getting really paid. It was never for the month with the guys.
[0:14:17] Brianne Davis: I know, but did you get paid for that one?
[0:14:20] Vince: I think I got a little travel money, but I basically like, the money went to her.
[0:14:24] Brianne Davis: Got it.
[0:14:25] Vince: So I was just kind of like, I want to start getting my name out there as an actor. And he wanted to set this up. So yeah, I hardly got it. I think I got a little travel money, but nothing I mean, I might have gotten $50 or something. We do the scene. So it's the day of the scene, and I was a little nervous in my mind. I wasn't that nervous, really, until I got there. It's such like a clinical you get there and carry on setting up his stuff. And he was, like, a little kind of apprehensive about bringing all this stuff through the hallway. He didn't want to put it somehow on the store. It's like a little inconspicuous. He's got, like, lights and all this stuff and he sets up the lights and everything. And then the actress got there and I talked to her and he was still setting up his stuff. And then I got time to shoot the thing. I couldn't really get it going.
[0:15:33] Vince: No, I remember.
[0:15:35] Brianne Davis: Was it the pressure?
[0:15:37] Vince: It was just everything. It was just you're in this very clinical environment. Like, you've got this big burly camera dude. He was a nice guy, too, but he's got these lights. And the actress, she was very nice. She was very professional. But cameraman setting up his stuff. And like I said, that was taking forever. And then finally, after an hour, whatever it was, we got time to do. And then some question about what exactly we were going to do as far as for the scene. But I guess we decided to kind of let it evolve organically, just naturally. But I knew I had a problem. I just couldn't get my equipment going. No.
[0:16:16] Brianne Davis: A professional actor, even when I do love scenes and it's so clinical and you actually have to work it out or there's too much pressure and you don't know. So I can imagine being like, let's see what happens with all those lights and people looking at all. I know it literally perform all the way.
[0:16:36] Vince: Yeah, it was a little cold in that hotel room. It made it even worse that morning. Not to get too graphic or anything, but I remember the night before, I didn't do anything with myself.
[0:16:53] Brianne Davis: Get ready for tomorrow. I get it.
[0:16:56] Vince: But that morning, I sort of, like, tested myself out a little bit. Can I get this going? I felt like felt good. Okay. But when we got time to really shooting it, I just couldn't get anything going. I remember when I went to the bathroom, I felt like I'll try to get myself going in there. And I remember the bathroom was cold. It was, like, cold, kind of. I was in there. I was trying to get things going and it just was not happening at all. Not at all. Like I was saying, it was like that feeling where you're at the doctor's office or something, you might be a little nervous and the last thing on your mind would be trying to get aroused. You know what I mean? It was strange to me because I didn't know what it was, really. I mean, the actress was pretty, she was nice.
[0:17:43] Vince: I think it was just this whole I have total respect for the guys that can act in these films. Just to be able to turn it on like that. Under all circumstances or different circumstances. I'm sure they have problems occasionally, but I couldn't even really get it going a little bit. So I'm in there. I kind of popped out for a minute and I was talking to them. I think they were patient and understanding, but I felt like just an idiot. You know what I mean? I felt like I was and then.
[0:18:13] Brianne Davis: That makes it worse, right? Where you're eating yourself up and they're like, Come on, come on.
[0:18:18] Vince: It did make it worse. So we weren't really able to film, like, a whole movie, really, but we were able to do, like, a few scenes, not to be too graphic. We did, like, an oral scene, and we did try to do a few other things, but there was no penetration scene, really. I just couldn't do it. And it was funny. It was pretty funny because I tend to talk when I get nervous. So I was talking to her. It was like, in some ways, it was like and he's got the camera rolling, and I'm trying to compensate for my failure by being, like, a little funny and I'm a little neurotic, and it's like Woody Allen making a porn or something. It was just ridiculous. And at one point, the cameraman, he's kind of, like, heckling me a little bit, I have to say. It was a failure. It was absolutely a failure.
[0:19:12] Brianne Davis: Just did not do your best. I'll give you an A for effort.
[0:19:21] Vince: Well, thank you. It was just a weird feeling. I mean, I got there, like I said that morning, I kind of felt like, okay, I can do this. And I just got there and I tried to get myself going, but it was like the opposite of being around. I could not do it. I could not do it at all. He still wound up. What he did was he filmed a little solo scene with the actress when I was trying to get my stuff together. And so he was able to, I think, use that a little bit, and.
[0:19:51] Brianne Davis: Then he cut it and make it look a certain way.
[0:19:54] Vince: Yeah, just as a standalone solo scene for her. Then we were able to do an oral scene and that kind of thing. So some of that, I think, was usable. But yeah, the most I remember when he was editing it, he just told me it was hard to edit because it was just so ridiculous, and he was trying to take out all my talking. That's something I learned just to preview a lot. I did learn a lot from it. The two things I learned was just to keep your mouth shut.
[0:20:28] Brianne Davis: Don't talk.
[0:20:29] Vince: Yeah, just to keep your mouth shut. And I also learned to take a little chemical help before the next scene, which I did.
[0:20:37] Brianne Davis: And I had a bad, like, Viagra or something.
[0:20:39] Vince: My friend gave me a Sialis. Yeah.
[0:20:42] Brianne Davis: Okay. So there was a second time after that. Was it with the same cameraman or.
[0:20:50] Vince: A different no, it was with a different camera person.
[0:20:55] Brianne Davis: So what made you want to do it? The time after wasn't that traumatizing? Or you were like, I can do this. I can do this.
[0:21:05] Vince: I just wanted to redeem myself. It's like kind of thing. You have a miserable failure, you crash and burn and you say, I've got to try this again. And I knew I thought, if I fail at this one, then I'm not cut out for it. But this one had a much better outcome.
[0:21:19] Brianne Davis: Okay.
[0:21:20] Vince: Yeah. So this was a couple of months later. So it was May that I had that failure. I tried to laugh about it. It was funny.
[0:21:27] Brianne Davis: It is funny. It's great. Listen, it's good you're putting yourself out there and trying something new. And you're not always going to succeed the first time. It's okay.
[0:21:37] Vince: Yeah. I mean, if you were to watch it, it's so ridiculous. I'm just jabbering, like the whole time. And the more I'm failing, the more I'm talking. And she was a good sport, and it was ridiculous. But I remained on good terms with the camera man. And we actually filmed something. We filmed something after that. We filmed another domination type scene. That was a year later. But yes, I wanted to redeem myself. And by the way, he put this stuff online.
[0:22:12] Brianne Davis: How did it feel being online?
[0:22:15] Vince: It was a little weird. But my feeling about that is there's so much stuff online now, there's such an remain anonymous. It was on one of the tubes. It was actually on X videos. It was on pornhub, too. Pornhub had a purge of their content. They purged a lot of their stuff.
[0:22:37] Brianne Davis: So yours got purged.
[0:22:39] Vince: I think if you went through you had to go through like a reauthorization process or something. And he was legit and stuff, but I think he didn't want to bother with that. But yeah, there was a copy of it too. It was actually on X videos at one point for a while.
[0:22:55] Brianne Davis: So here's my question for you with that. Have you made any money from that? No. Okay.
[0:23:01] Vince: Nothing. Yeah.
[0:23:02] Brianne Davis: Okay. So let's get back to your triumphant return.
[0:23:06] Vince: Okay. Yeah. Okay. This is better. At this point. I joined a website that is called Sexy Jobs. It's for adult performers who want to reach out to producers and that kind of a thing. Okay. I joined that. And I had connected with a woman who's a few hours away, she was working with again, this is really very gonzo not glamorous stuff at all, really. Just kind of people making amateur content. Yeah. She was working with a woman who was producing a video, and I told her I should show her. I showed her something else. I certainly didn't show her that failure scene.
[0:23:49] Vince: I think I showed her like a solo scene or something. And then we set up a date to work together. So it was a different camera person. It was her friend or her so called manager, whatever she was filming it and producing it. So this was a few hours away. I went and did a shoot with them. And now that was the one I was preparing. My friend had given me that pill, and he told me to take it. And I took it. And that scene went much better. We were actually able to film, like, a real movie. I remembered I said to myself, just keep your mouth shut. Just don't talk. And I was respectable in that one. I'm not saying I was.
[0:24:35] Brianne Davis: I know you did your job, but listen.
[0:24:38] Vince: But I was okay. It was a respectable performance.
[0:24:42] Brianne Davis: But here's the thing. I love that you keep giving this tip. Don't talk if you're going to go into porn or mature porn. Do not talk. Keep your mouth shut.
[0:24:52] Vince: Yeah, especially for the guys are just like ornaments, really. I mean, it all exists. Most of it, yes. Men who want to watch women. So no one wants to hear some guy jabber, especially some neurotic Woody Allen. Dude, it was outrageous. I couldn't believe I was that bad. This time. I just thought, okay, I'm not going to talk.
[0:25:13] Brianne Davis: Okay.
[0:25:13] Vince: But the difficulty with this one was and we were able to shoot like a whole scene with several acts and stuff. And it was good. It was fine. The only issue with that was that had challenges, too, because what were the challenges? The producer. The camera woman, producer lady. She was cool and everything, but she had this style of shooting. And what do I know? I'm no veteran or anything. But instead of just like rolling, letting you, like kind of do your thing organically and rolling, she would say, okay, we're going to shoot this oral scene. And then she said it would take 15 minutes to set up the camera and different angles. She didn't really have that much equipment. She had less equipment than the camera guy that I worked with before. But she had lights and stuff. So she's taking forever to set the scene up.
[0:26:04] Vince: And then, okay, then we do the oral scene. And it's like, okay, stop. Then she's taking like 15 or 20 minutes to set up for the other whatever else we're going to do following that. So in between, your momentum is broken.
[0:26:18] Brianne Davis: Welcome to the world of filming. That is every actor, whether you're in porn or regular actor, just like, worst nightmare, welcome to the club.
[0:26:30] Vince: But I feel like it's even worse with this because you have to get yourself so I would just be sitting and standing around that's like, okay, start resume this. What the hell? And then I did have some mild issues with that. I had some mild issues, like getting going in between, but I was still able to do it. And then we were able to get the climax and everything. The pop shot, whatever you want to call it. I was able to actually fulfill my role, even though I had a few minor problems, but yeah, that was the challenge with that one. It was just ridiculous. This kept happening. It was like, okay, do this then. Okay, I'm going to set up. Sometimes it was like 20 minutes in between and she's messing with the lights and that's like, okay, start again, man. I mean, how can you do that? Especially with something like.
[0:27:22] Brianne Davis: Yes, turn it on again.
[0:27:24] Vince: And then it would just be but that was the one where I redeemed myself. I felt like I redeemed myself.
[0:27:31] Brianne Davis: Yay. Congrats, Vince. Congratulations. So here's the thing. Are you going to do it again? Is this going to be a part of your life? Has it become an addiction? How are you feeling?
[0:27:46] Vince: Yeah, I would love to do it again. It's just that the area where I am, it's tough and there's not much happening here. And I tried to reach out to some more like real whatever you want to call it, real producers or some La kind of producers. Part of me felt like I don't really have what it takes to really be like a real guy that can just go in like a caveman and just have sex with a girl under any circumstances. I know I don't have that right. And then there's not much really being made where I am. But I thought my strength was where I did the best was solo scenes. I had no problem, just totally no problem. And then doing these domination themed scenes, I've done a few with that original cameraman. We did another one where I play like, Peeping Tom, proprietor of a motel, and I'm watching this woman and she catches me set up a camera. And that was scary. And there was a little acting involved, and that was done with an actress outside of where I am. And she had done some stuff. She was yeah, she had the experience. And I enjoyed the acting aspect and kind of doing some lines and kind of riffing and stuff like that.
[0:28:58] Vince: I felt like that was more my strength than actually just going in and being like this caveman and just being.
[0:29:02] Brianne Davis: Able to well, just being the prop. Then it's just being the prop. Is that what I completely get that. But how does it feel now? Because this is the first time you've said this secret out loud. How are you feeling right now? Does it feel free?
[0:29:17] Vince: Yeah, it feels good again. To me, I've sort of been desensitized, really. Like, I've been a little desensitized, really. So to me, it almost feels like it's normal to do this stuff.
[0:29:29] Brianne Davis: Yeah.
[0:29:29] Vince: But I remember that this was a gradual process and in the beginning it's still not completely normal now. But in the beginning, I would have thought it was the most outrageous thing. But now it's like you get kind of used to it in a way. But yeah, obviously if everyone found out, it would be. Scandal or be bad. But yeah, if there wasn't such a stigma about it, I'd be okay with telling people.
[0:29:56] Brianne Davis: But here's the thing. Sex work is actually coming less stigmatized. So maybe this is the first step of you actually leaning into this hobby that could be a career. Who knows? Who knows, right? The whole thing I love is that you're willing to come on right now and share it with us and share your truth in a very funny story, which I very much appreciated this morning. So thank you for that.
[0:30:20] Vince: Yeah, thank you.
[0:30:21] Brianne Davis: Is there anything else you want to add before we get off?
[0:30:25] Vince: Yeah, sure. I have a question for you. I would like to get a female opinion about this.
[0:30:30] Brianne Davis: Sure.
[0:30:30] Vince: If this is part of my history of something I've done, I always wonder, I told, when you're dating someone, do you think it's something that he had a little history of this stuff? Would you feel like it would be something that he should tell you, or.
[0:30:45] Brianne Davis: No, I mean, I think that's a personal preference. If you're dating someone, if you're with someone for a while and they become a significant other, I think that would be an important time to reveal. But if you just start dating someone, I don't think that's relevant for them to know. I always believe when you start dating, you don't overshare at first. You ask questions. You ask about the other person and see if they're a good fit for you before you divulge every dark secret you've ever had in your life. And I don't think it would hinder someone wanting to be in a relationship with someone. But I don't know, that's just me. Everybody has different preferences, but that's just me.
[0:31:24] Vince: Yeah. I mean, I wonder about that. And even the job I have, I don't know if I'd automatically be fired for that.
[0:31:31] Brianne Davis: Well, you're a teacher, right? So I don't know either, so I have no clue. Yeah, but here's the thing. Your secret is okay to reveal and live your truth at the same time.
[0:31:43] Vince: Sure. And again, I think that the stigma attached to adult work is sort of fading away a little bit.
[0:31:50] Brianne Davis: I think a lot of it.
[0:31:52] Vince: Yeah. I feel like it's totally different from even the mean. I feel like the Internet really changed everything.
[0:32:00] Brianne Davis: They normalized. It as young as six and eight years old, which is not okay. But I'm so grateful you came on. I'm so grateful you reached out. This has been such a fun interview. So thank you for coming on.
[0:32:15] Vince: Thank you so much.
[0:32:17] Brianne Davis: And if you want to be on the show, please email me at secretlifepodcast@icloud.com. Until next time.
[0:32:29] Vince: Bye.
[0:32:30] Brianne Davis: Thanks again for listening to the show. Please subscribe rate, share or send me a note secretlifepodcast@icloud.com. And if you'd like to check out my book, head over to secretlifenovel.com or Amazon to pick up a copy for yourself or someone you love. Thanks again. See you soon.
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