EP 34: From Anxious to Secure: Stop Chasing, Overthinking & Losing Yourself in Love

Anxious attachment isn't a life sentence—it's a pattern you can heal. In this transformative episode, internationally recognized relationship coach Trevor Hanson shares his journey from working at Tesla while trapped in toxic relationships to helping thousands break free from anxious attachment patterns.

If you've ever felt like you're dating the same person repeatedly, sabotaging healthy relationships, or addicted to the highs and lows of chaotic love—this episode is your roadmap to change.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

• The real difference between anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment styles

• Why you keep attracting unavailable partners (and how to stop)

• The TEMPO Cycle framework for identifying and breaking your patterns

• How to build genuine safety within yourself before seeking it in others

• Why healing while dating isn't just possible—it's powerful

• The emotion-logic gap and why knowing better doesn't equal doing better

"There's an emotion-logic gap. There's a logical part of you that totally gets it in the front part of your brain. But then there's an emotional part of your brain that stores all your subconscious content. Too often we try to activate the front part of the brain to fix the emotional base brain. And it doesn't work. You literally aren't even turning on the right part of the brain to fix it. That's why you can learn all day long what a healthy pattern looks like and still get sucked into the same old stuff."

- Trevor Hanson

CONNECT WITH TREVOR:

Trevor is an internationally recognized coach dedicated to helping individuals and couples create secure, thriving relationships.

After overcoming his own anxious attachment, breaking his jaw, ending a toxic relationship, and leaving a corporate career at Tesla, he found his purpose in helping others find their secure self.

With a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and advanced training from some of the world’s top attachment experts, Trevor has helped thousands of clients around the globe. He’s been featured by the Gottman Institute and has spoken to audiences of over 10,000.

As the founder of The Art of Healing, he teaches his signature Secure Self Method to help people step into emotional confidence and build the kinds of relationships that last.

Trevor's Instagram: ⁠@theartofhealingbytrevor⁠

⁠Trevor's Website⁠

Free! Seminar ⁠From Anxious to Secure ⁠

Join the⁠ Secure Self Club⁠ (Go from anxious to secure in 120 days!)

CONNECT WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠

STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:

We NOW have an Instagram! Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠

Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠

⭐As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over to Instagram to share the most recent episode!