Most humans were never taught how to work through disagreement in a way that actually strengthens a relationship. So when conflict shows up, old emotional learning takes the lead. Past wounds get activated. Fear takes over. And what could have been a moment of productive working through something important shifts into something destructive and disorganizing. In this episode, I talk about what it means to fight smarter when CPTSD is in the room. Not by suppressing emotion or avoiding conflict, but by learning how to stay Self-Led before, during, and after...
Most humans were never taught how to work through disagreement in a way that actually strengthens a relationship. So when conflict shows up, old emotional learning takes the lead. Past wounds get activated. Fear takes over. And what could have been a moment of productive working through something important shifts into something destructive and disorganizing.
In this episode, I talk about what it means to fight smarter when CPTSD is in the room. Not by suppressing emotion or avoiding conflict, but by learning how to stay Self-Led before, during, and after difficult conversations. I walk through four practical steps that help you recognize when you are fighting with Trauma Energies running the show and how to shift into a process that supports not only your CPTSD Resolution but real change in your relationship.
Can't stop toxic fighting in your relationship?
→ Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide
HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD
Do I Have CPTSD? Assessment
A free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences.
https://cptsdmedicine.com/assessment
I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan
My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan.
DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com
CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop
A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era.
cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop
Happily Ever After
A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support.
https://cptsdmedicine.com/services
About Dr. Tanner Wallace
Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns.
About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast
Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why.
Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system.
Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution.
If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.
