The death of a child by suicide leaves parents with heartbreaking questions, overwhelming emotions, and a complicated grief journey. In this first episode of a two-part conversation, I speak with author, speaker, and leadership coach Wende Gaikema about the loss of her 24-year-old son, Matt, who died by suicide in 2018.Wende first shares Matt's story and the day that changed her family's life forever. She then introduces the central theme of her new book, From Heartache to Hope: Navigating the Choices in Your...
The death of a child by suicide leaves parents with heartbreaking questions, overwhelming emotions, and a complicated grief journey. In this first episode of a two-part conversation, I speak with author, speaker, and leadership coach Wende Gaikema about the loss of her 24-year-old son, Matt, who died by suicide in 2018.
Wende first shares Matt's story and the day that changed her family's life forever. She then introduces the central theme of her new book, From Heartache to Hope: Navigating the Choices in Your Suicide Loss Journey—the idea that while we cannot choose our loss, we can choose how we respond to it.
Together, we begin walking through the first six of twelve important choices that suicide loss survivors face, including where to place our hope, where to turn with our pain, what to do with doubt, how to view God's character in the midst of tragedy, and how to respond to the endless "why" questions that can keep us stuck.
Whether your loss is recent or many years ago, this conversation offers biblical truth, practical wisdom, and gentle encouragement for the difficult road of suicide loss.
In this episode, you'll hear about:
- Wende's son Matt and the events surrounding his death by suicide
- How God met Wende in the darkest moments of her grief
- The inspiration behind From Heartache to Hope
- Why healing involves intentional choices
- Choosing hope when hope feels impossible
- Bringing your pain honestly before God through lament
- The difference between doubt and unbelief
- Trusting God's character when life doesn't make sense
- Moving from "Why?" questions to healthier "What now?" questions
- Responding with grace when others say hurtful or unhelpful things
If you know someone grieving the loss of a child to suicide, we encourage you to share this episode with them. Sometimes the greatest gift we can offer is simply reminding someone they are not alone.
Resources Mentioned
- From Heartache to Hope: Navigating the Choices in Your Suicide Loss Journey by Wende Gaikema
- Connect with Wende: https://coachwende.com
Coming Up Next Week
In the second half of our conversation, Wende tackles some of the most difficult questions surrounding suicide loss. We'll discuss whether suicide is the unpardonable sin, how to deal with shame, blame, regret, and anger, what she calls the "emotional shrapnel" left behind after suicide, and how God can redeem our pain by using our stories to bring hope to others.
If this episode encouraged you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with another bereaved parent. Your support helps us reach families who desperately need hope.
And if you've experienced the death of a child of any age and to any circumstance, we'd be honored to serve you at one of our free While We're Waiting retreats. Visit our website to learn more.
I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)
** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.
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