We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Seeking asylum seekers. Sunak says 100,000 asylum cases have been sorted, but the numbers don’t add up. Zero missed calls. A Guardian journalist tries to break his phone addiction by… spending an enormous amount of time on it? Plus – Taking the Mickey. The original Steamboat Mickey Mouse is out of copyright and the papers are fascinated.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Bunker podcast Host Jacob Jarvis and comedian Marcus Brigstocke.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin and Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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Rishi Sunak, tax liar – The Times: Save Germany’s nudists! – Could YOU marry a toff?
Sunak vs. Starmer debate: Who was the winner? – The new horrible TikTok shopping trend – Mind the age gap? It’s time to talk about cougars
Oh no, Farage is back – Nadine Dorries: Ghost Whisperer? – How to spot a voice note w*nker
Sunak Vs Starmer: Let's get ready to rumble – Rupert Murdoch gets hitched (again) – Meet Britain’s most ‘terrifying’ journalist
Trump: Guiltiest man on earth – Is Will Smith a bad boy for life? – Want to ignore the election? Watch sh*t TV!
The Diane Abbott clusterf*ck – Cardi G! Southgate cardigan mania hits – Meet the judgiest Gen Z person EVER
Victory is sweet for Angela Rayner – Robert de Niro calls out Donald Trump – Stop working old-school comedians to death!
Is Sunak trying to lose the election? – Tech bros and Tradwives: Meet the world’s worst parents – Broken Holmes! Eamonn and Ruth split
Sunak’s latest campaign blunders – “Oh no! Mum’s on Ket!” – Yeehaw! Inside country’s 2024 comeback
Where’s brolly? Soggy Sunak calls a Genny Lecs – Bloomin’ Hell: inside the Chelsea Flower Show – Greatest albums list annoys everyone
Minister makes first class fool of himself – Would you go ‘boy sober?’ – Reality TV Weddings: the full horror
True horror of infected blood scandal revealed – Nadine Dorries vs. the Cotswolds – Does Bridgerton need more misery?
Baby Rein-Keir! Real-life ‘Martha’ targets Starmer – The cost of wedding crisis – Inside the Bennifer break-up
Jeremy Clarkson: World’s sexiest man? – Reality Bites: TV influencers up on finance charges – The Times’s mad summer fashion diktats
Assassination attempt on Slovak PM – The dark(er) side of OnlyFans – Why do we love slagging off other people’s weddings?
Esther McVey hates rainbows – Can spreadsheets fix your sex life? – Gran with a Flan! OAPs vs foodies
Trump fumes as “pitbull” Cohen testifies – Art failure! New York-Dublin video portal gets messy – Escape your phone for just £72
Panicky Sunak launches Project Fear – Dogs mania at Cannes Film Festival – Menswear guru’s verdict on Britain’s politicians
What's going on with Eurovision? – The return of Dominic Cummings – Would you let your husband pick your outfits?
Outrage as Natalie Elphicke joins Labour – The world's worst blind date – Why the Dutch are taking your phone away
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