TB9, S11, E13: Author and Therapist Colette Fehr — Why Staying Quiet Leads to Divorce

2026-02-03

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Most relationships don't end because of one big blowup. They end because too much goes unsaid. This week on The Back 9, therapist and author Colette Fehr returns to the show to talk about her new book, The Cost of Quiet, and why avoiding conflict can quietly push couples toward distance, disconnection, and divorce. The three of us dig into how "keeping the peace" turns into resentment, how intimacy fades when hard conversations don't happen, and why this pattern shows up so often in midlife relationships and second marriages. If you've ever ...

Most relationships don't end because of one big blowup. They end because too much goes unsaid.

This week on The Back 9, therapist and author Colette Fehr returns to the show to talk about her new book, The Cost of Quiet, and why avoiding conflict can quietly push couples toward distance, disconnection, and divorce. The three of us dig into how "keeping the peace" turns into resentment, how intimacy fades when hard conversations don't happen, and why this pattern shows up so often in midlife relationships and second marriages.

If you've ever stayed quiet to avoid a fight — and wondered later how things slipped so far — this conversation will hit home. It's a topic worth shouting about, on The Back 9.

Contact Colette

Preorder The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love
https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Website
https://www.colettejanefehr.com

Instagram and TikTok
@colettejanefehr

Substack
https://colettejanefehr.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips

TEDx Talk, "Secrets from a Couples Therapist"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tSUOB2yEd0

Contact Dennis & Josh

Instagram: @Back9_Podcast

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