He Fashions a Dildo Made of Heroin to Smuggle Up his Ass., Cocaine in His Cowboy Boots & Busted by the DEA: Louie M | Dopey’s Greatest Hits

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Summary

On this Dopey Greatest Hits, Dave brings back one of the wildest and most cinematic stories in the show’s history: Louie Mandrapilias, author of Flew Too High.

First, Dave gives a DopeyCon update and plays a voicemail from Hannah, who manipulated her dog’s medical records to build a second Xanax prescription in her pet’s name. What began with six bars for an anxious dog eventually became regular prescriptions that Hannah took for herself—until her veterinarian offered to double the dosage and Hannah realized how far the scheme had gone.

Then Louie takes us from 1970s New York City to India, Bolivia and Bangkok. A young gay art student arrives in Manhattan, takes MDA, dances at Studio 54, sees Andy Warhol, shoots his first speedball and falls in love with a small-time drug dealer. That relationship sends him to India, where he visits an opium den, joins Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh’s ashram and begins an unexpected romance with a German woman.

When Louie becomes stranded with an unpaid hotel bill, he tracks down an opium-addicted dealer named Tascar and agrees to smuggle pure heroin back to New York inside a condom wrapped in electrical tape and hidden in his body. At JFK, DEA agents strip-search him but somehow fail to find it. Louie sells half the heroin for $50,000—and quickly becomes addicted to the rest.

Next comes a trip to Bolivia for a kilo of pure cocaine. Unable to conceal the package the way he planned, Louie divides it between his cowboy boots and skin-tight jeans. This time, the DEA immediately notices. He is arrested, faces federal charges and avoids prison after his father puts up the family home and helps him receive probation.

But even that isn’t Louie’s bottom. After returning to drugs, he joins an elaborate Bangkok heroin-smuggling operation that hides the shipment inside an airplane lavatory for another courier to retrieve on a domestic leg of the flight.

By Christmas 1983, Louie is living in luxury but feels completely dead inside. A seemingly minor argument produces a life-changing realization: “You don’t have to live like this.” He returns home, kicks heroin and enters treatment on January 1, 1984. A year later, he tests HIV-positive at a time when the diagnosis was widely considered a death sentence. Louie stays sober, builds a creative life, finds an HIV-positive recovery community in Los Angeles—and remains sober 40 years later.

All that and more on this brand new yet old Classic Episode of that good old Dopey Show!

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