Fragilization: What Happens When We Over-Identify with Our Wounds

What happens when trauma awareness turns into over-protection, and healing gets stuck in the identity of what harmed us? In this episode of Almost Awakened, Teresa Hobbs and Bill Reel unpack the concept of fragilization; the process by which individuals and cultures become organized around avoiding discomfort in the name of safety. Drawing from their work supporting people through religious trauma, deconstruction, and nervous system healing, Teresa and Bill explore how the instinct to protect ourselves can sometimes keep us trapped in patterns of helplessness. They discuss how to honor pain without becoming fused with it, how validation can restore dignity without reinforcing dependency, and why resilience requires learning to tolerate life’s inevitable discomforts. They also explore: How “trauma bonding” can become a comfort zone The difference between co-regulation and dependence Why denial breeds fragility How true strength comes from integration, not suppression The cultural consequences of fragilization: polarization and loss of resilience This conversation invites nuance, compassion, and empowerment, recognizing that honoring the wound is essential, but staying in it can keep us small. For those healing from high-demand religions or systems of control, it’s a reminder that real freedom isn’t the absence of pain, it’s the ability to hold both safety and strength as we grow.

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Books Mentioned:
“The Expectation Effect” by David Robson – https://a.co/d/aRCk3wy
“The Coddling of the American Mind” by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt – https://www.thecoddling.com/buy