Getting Along with an Insecure Tormentor

Maria’s boss used to be a mentor—someone she admired, learned from, and enjoyed working with. But after a reorg, he changed. He became critical and dismissive, questioned her commitment to work, and started to undermine her instead of lifting her up. Now she’s struggling to maintain a productive working relationship with someone who is unsupportive at best and out to get her at worst.

How should you handle a boss who’s turned against you? How do you protect your reputation and career while managing the stress?

In this episode, Amy G speaks with Maria and suggests strategies, based on her book Getting Along, for navigating a difficult relationship with a boss whose insecurity has turned him into a tormentor. By the end of their conversation, Maria has a plan for moving forward, setting boundaries, and preserving her well-being.

Resources:

• Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People), by Amy Gallo
• Speak Up, Speak Out, from the HBR Women at Work Series
• “Research: Shifting the Power Balance with an Abusive Boss,” by Hui Liao et al.
• “What to Do When Your Boss Betrays You,” by Ron Carucci
• “Research: Insecure Managers Don’t Want Your Suggestions,” by Nathanael J. Fast et al.

Sign up for the Women at Work newsletter.

Email us: womenatwork@hbr.org