Ep 197: Manufactured Crazy: When an Abuser Provokes the Reaction They Later Use Against You

2026-04-01

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Have you ever felt like your ex keeps pushing and pushing until you finally react… and then suddenly you’re the problem?In this episode, we’re talking about what I often call manufactured crazy — when someone intentionally provokes reactions and then uses those reactions to support a narrative that you are unstable, high-conflict, or difficult to work with.We also discuss dog whistles — subtle phrases or references that sound harmless to others but are meant to trigger you because of your shared history. When you ...

Have you ever felt like your ex keeps pushing and pushing until you finally react… and then suddenly you’re the problem?

In this episode, we’re talking about what I often call manufactured crazy — when someone intentionally provokes reactions and then uses those reactions to support a narrative that you are unstable, high-conflict, or difficult to work with.

We also discuss dog whistles — subtle phrases or references that sound harmless to others but are meant to trigger you because of your shared history. When you react, the focus often shifts to your response instead of the pattern of provocation that led up to it.

This episode explores why this happens, why your nervous system reacts the way it does, and how learning to recognize the setup can help you move from reacting emotionally to responding strategically.

If you’ve ever thought “that is exactly what they wanted me to do,” this conversation will help you understand why — and what you can do differently next time.

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