103. Should I Tell My Avoidant Partner About Attachment Theory?

2026-01-21

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Should you tell your avoidant partner about attachment theory, or is that actually making things harder?In this episode of Speak Honest, I unpack the very real urge to explain, teach, and hope that if your partner just understood attachment theory, everything would finally feel safer. We talk about why that urge so often comes from an activated nervous system, how timing and safety matter more than insight, and what actually creates change in anxious–avoidant dynamics. This episode isn’t about fixing your partner. It’s about understanding what’s happeni...

Should you tell your avoidant partner about attachment theory, or is that actually making things harder?
In this episode of Speak Honest, I unpack the very real urge to explain, teach, and hope that if your partner just understood attachment theory, everything would finally feel safer. We talk about why that urge so often comes from an activated nervous system, how timing and safety matter more than insight, and what actually creates change in anxious–avoidant dynamics. This episode isn’t about fixing your partner. It’s about understanding what’s happening inside you and learning how to get your power back in the process.

You might want to listen if:

You feel the constant urge to explain yourself or overteach when your partner pulls away
You’ve learned about attachment theory and want your partner to “get it” too
You notice yourself feeling more anxious, not less, after trying to help him understand
You’re stuck in a push–pull dynamic and don’t know how to change it without chasing
You want to feel calmer, clearer, and more grounded no matter how your partner shows up

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DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for accuracy but are not liable for errors or outcomes from this information.

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