I panicked. Had some strange transformation occurred whilst asleep? There was no extraneous fur growing on my body, no foul breath that resembled the remnants of fried Grantaloupe innards, or any other traits of a Chewbacca for which I should be deeply concerned. There must have been in a crazy dream before lucidity resurfaced, so the anxiety began to fade.
Nightmare averted.
But there is another species of Wookie—sort of the human version of that Sasquatch’s buzzin’ cousin from another mother. Generally unclean, extremely hairy, and housing silver dollar sized earlobe gauges, their look is that of having stolen tapestries from an eastern European gypsy bordello and fashioned the material into pants. You see and smell them at heady Cannabis events toting their wares in a pelican case. I sniffed the underarms, and it was not good. Had I transformed? Was it Freaky Friday?
Jumping out of bed, I immediately made a terror run for the mirror where a thorough inspection was in order. The hair was studied for any new emerging dreads, the mouth for any new sores, and the face for any remnants of crumbs in the patchy facial hair. Nope, it was the same dude that passed out drunk the previous night in the middle of the original Star Wars trilogy.
So, I relaxed and took a dab, clutching my stuffed Princess Kneesaa Ewok toy that brings me comfort in moments of reality.
#267 - Sometimes You Fart (Originally Posted as Episode #153)
#266 - Karate Kids (Originally Posted as Episode #39)
#265 - Trigger Happy (Originally Posted as Episode #159)
#264 - Smart Idiots (Originally Posted as Episode #152)
#263 - You Are a Narcissist (Originally Posted as Episode #140)
#262 - Getting Turnt (Originally Posted as Ep 144)
#261 - Sorry Alexa (Originally Posted as episode #142)
#260 - Respect the Rat (Originally Posted as Episode #137)
#259 - I'll Believe It When I See It (Originally Posted as Episode #131)
#258 - I Share That Sediment (Originally Posted as Episode #136)
#257 - Staying Alive is Dangerous (Originally Posted as Episode #135)
#256 - Marriage Is Necessary Not (Originally Posted as Episode #123)
#255 - The Guy Who Waves Too Much (Originally Posted as Episode #132
#254 - Remote No Control (Originally Posted as Episode #124)
#253 - Moral Dilemmas (Originally Posted as Episode #121)
#252 - Mosquitos Suck (Originally Posted as Episode #116)
#251 - Grouchlock (Originally Posted as Episode #107)
#250 - People And Their Annoying Kids (Originally Posted as Episode #22)
#249 - Self Imposed Sobriety (Originally Posted as Episode #55)
#248 - Road Rage is Nothing Personal (Originally Posted as Episode #119(
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