RE 598: Accept the Struggle

Today we have Amy. She is 43 years old, lives in Santa Ynez, CA and took her last drink of alcohol on May 25th, 2026.

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[01:52] Thoughts from Paul:

Everyone struggles with something and for you that may be alcohol. Paul's message for today isn't how to lessen that struggle. Instead, he wants you to accept it, own it and embrace it.

Unlike many other ailments, where the ideal outcome is to get back where you were, an alcohol addiction allows us to blow past that. We can not only heal from it, but we can be catapulted into a much healthier way of living. This time can be an intense chapter of growth, where you'll emerge with more depth and understanding of yourself and others when you hit the other side.

Be patient, trust the process, own it and befriend it. Turn your struggle into your greatest strength. Not many get to do that with their problems.

[05:30] Paul introduces Amy:

Amy is 43 years old, lives in Santa Ynez, CA, has four children and a variety of pets. She was a nurse for many years, but now just stays home and loves hiking.

Amy grew up in a family with two addicted parents. Her mother went into treatment for a year when Amy was six years old. Amy and her brother spent a lot of time in NA and AA meetings as kids and said it was traumatizing to hear all the stories about people's addictions but was grateful for her mother's sobriety.

Amy was 14 years old when she started drinking. Her mother was sober for about 10 years and then began drinking again. There were a lot of toxic family things happening and Amy ended up getting kicked out of her home at 16.

After getting pregnant at 17, Amy decided she was going to be a parent, put herself through nursing school and prove to everyone that she was not going to turn out like her parents. Around this time, she became friends with a woman who drank wine and made it look sophisticated and cool. They would have play dates for their kids and drink wine together.

In spite of getting a DUI when she was 20, Amy did not think her drinking was a problem. She didn't believe she needed to quit drinking, she just needed to quit drinking and driving.

Amy met her husband and soon they moved to California and got married. Amy had two more kids back-to-back and this is when she realized that she looked forward to 5pm so that she could drink due to the stress of parenting.

After the birth of her fourth child, Amy and her husband hired an au pair to have some assistance with the kids while they both worked. Amy was friends with a group of people at work that she would go out with on Friday nights. Since she had an au pair, she was able to go out without accountability. At the same time, she had a friend with access to cocaine so Amy would use it in addition to drinking.

A close friend of Amy's was visiting and saw firsthand what she was doing. She offered to take Amy with her to Peru to participate in plant medicine. After coming home from this experience, Amy decided to put together some tools and chose to quit drinking for a year. When she started back and attempted moderation, it didn't go well and she realized it was easier to not have any drinks than to try and only have one.

Before quitting drinking again, Amy started doing meditation and practicing yoga. Eventually she started recognizing the incongruency of drinking heavily and doing healthy activities. Amy started playing the tape forward before social events and realized that she needed to quit for good.

Since quitting drinking this time, Amy has started listening to podcasts, has joined Reframe, meditates regularly, enjoys journalling and recently started The Artist's Way.

Amy's parting piece of guidance: stop drinking to make everyone else comfortable.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down.

You have got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

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