418: Her hormones: what every partner needs to know (ft. Morgan Miller)

"Is this in my head, or is this real?"

Millions of women ask themselves this question -- about their sleep, their mood, their body suddenly working differently than it used to. They can't tell if they can't sleep as well as they used to because they've got two young children ... or whether it's perimenopause.

If you want to be an awesome partner (either now or in the future), listen on! This is the hormonal literacy class you never got that could help with everything.

Here I sit down with Morgan Miller, midwife and co-author of The Cycle Book (with her best friend, sex therapist Laura Federico), to decode what's actually happening in a woman's body as she's in different phases.

We go deep on perimenopause: sleep disruption, night sweats, heart palpitations, ER scares no one warns you about; the anxiety and PMDD that can be a hormonal sensitivity, not an imbalance. There's also the easy, often-missed fix for vaginal dryness, recurrent UTIs, and painful sex (a targeted topical instead of antibiotics).

We also cover why a single blood draw is just "her estrogen at 2pm on a Tuesday" — and why tracking biomarkers (which is actually pretty simple) over a few cycles tells you a LOT more.

Plus a stat that floored me: period-tracking apps are only ~20% accurate at predicting ovulation — wrong roughly 80% of the time.

If your woman has ever been told "everything's fine" while her body said otherwise, and you've felt helpless watching it — this one's for you.

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Work with us

Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

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Mentioned on this episode:

• The Love Field: Hot Love Summer → www.violetlange.com/thelovefield
• The Cycle Book: An Interactive Step-by-Step Guide to Tracking Hormones and Knowing Your Body by Laura Federico, LCSW & Morgan Miller, CPM, LM
• Work with Morgan & Laura (virtual; they also train providers): www.itslauraandmorgan.com

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Memorable quotes from this episode:

• "I feel loved when the men in my life know things about a woman's body."
• "Men have a 24-hour cycle, too."
• "Vaginas are so smart — they're self-cleaning systems."
• "Don't get pigeonholed into the algorithms; you're not every human."
• "It's like learning a new language. Once you learn it, you can't unlearn it."
• "Is this my body adjusting? Is this my body asking for support? Or should I be getting a divorce?"
• "There's no amount of hormones you can pump your body full of that's going to make your libido crank up if you're not into it."
• "We are patient zero. We are figuring this out for ourselves."