Esther Perry - Rewriting Survival: Men’s Path to Mental Wellbeing HMIO 322

2026-01-23

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In this powerful episode of Hey Man; It’s Ok, hosts Sky Bridges and licensed therapist Ryan Heapy sit down with Esther Perry, EMDR consultant and author of When Survival Is Killing You, to unpack what men are rarely taught about mental health, trauma, and emotional expression.Esther helps explain the why behind common mental health tools — from EMDR and mindfulness to nervous system regulation — and why many men struggle to connect with approaches that don’t...

In this powerful episode of Hey Man; It’s Ok, hosts Sky Bridges and licensed therapist Ryan Heapy sit down with Esther Perry, EMDR consultant and author of When Survival Is Killing You, to unpack what men are rarely taught about mental health, trauma, and emotional expression.

Esther helps explain the why behind common mental health tools — from EMDR and mindfulness to nervous system regulation — and why many men struggle to connect with approaches that don’t feel safe or practical. Together, they explore how trauma lives in the body, the overlooked “fight” response in fight-or-flight, and how cultural expectations around masculinity make vulnerability feel uncomfortable — or even threatening.

The conversation also dives into Esther’s unconventional path to becoming a therapist, her work in juvenile detention facilities, and her unique experience providing therapy while living and traveling in an RV. Throughout the episode, the focus stays grounded in compassion, science, and the reality of what men face when they’re told to “open up” without ever being shown how.

This episode is an honest, accessible conversation for men navigating emotional growth, healing from trauma, and learning how to feel without shame.

Episode Chapters

00:00 – Introduction 00:47 – Esther Perry’s background and book inspiration 02:58 – Trauma, survival, and coping mechanisms 05:34 – Men’s mental health and the fight-or-flight response 09:57 – EMDR and creating emotional safety 12:29 – From juvenile detention to therapy work 15:49 – Challenges in correctional mental health 18:00 – Gender differences in emotional processing 23:57 – Why expressing emotions is so difficult for men 26:13 – Science, emotions, and nervous system regulation 29:50 – Life as a traveling “nomad therapist” 34:47 – Writing and publishing When Survival Is Killing You 37:12 – Practical therapeutic advice for men 41:57 – Final reflections

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