Have you ever answered a simple question with the whole real answer — and watched the room go a particular kind of quiet? Have you ever lain awake at 2am running back one thing you said in a group chat three years ago, certain everyone clocked it the way you did? Have you ever walked out of a room having already decided you were the too-much one before anyone said a word?There's a reason your brain gave the director's cut when everyone else gave three sentences. It's not the reason you've been telling y...
Have you ever answered a simple question with the whole real answer — and watched the room go a particular kind of quiet? Have you ever lain awake at 2am running back one thing you said in a group chat three years ago, certain everyone clocked it the way you did? Have you ever walked out of a room having already decided you were the too-much one before anyone said a word?
There's a reason your brain gave the director's cut when everyone else gave three sentences. It's not the reason you've been telling yourself.
CHAPTERS
00:16 — The plastic chair, the room going quiet, and knowing before you know why
00:46 — Six weeks postpartum, new town, no family, no one to talk to but her husband
01:11 — The things about babies nobody says out loud because they're 'obvious'
02:33 — Why she joined a mother's group, and the morning it all went sideways
03:27 — Twenty minutes late, sweaty, in her husband's vomit-swapped T-shirt
04:13 — Bows, baptism outfits and homemade plates: the prep she didn't know about
05:29 — Three questions. Name, baby's name, the birth. Easy.
06:07 — What recent trauma does when someone kindly asks you to tell it
08:00 — The Wi-Fi freeze: watching the room drop out in real time
09:00 — Morning tea, the decaf, and 'where the f*ck are we?'
10:01 — Kate's three sentences, and the instruction Jane never heard
11:30 — The most embarrassing moment, and the one heading she filed it under for years
12:44 — Going back into the room with the lens she has now
12:55 — The two filters: the words she heard vs the contract underneath them
14:00 — The freeze wasn't a verdict — it was sorting happening in front of her
14:49 — Why it was actually the most efficient thing she's ever done
15:10 — The next week: the biscuits, the permanent marker, the friend for life
16:43 — The pram that rolled past the window on its own
17:24 — Watching the room split again — who moves away, who leans in
18:11 — Told to be less your whole life — and why she won't join that group
19:14 — Being an adult: let people move towards you or away, but let them choose
20:11 — Telling everyone who you are up front, and the door it leaves open
RESOURCES & REFERENCES
Free Resources
After Your Diagnosis Kit — for the 'oh, that's why I've always done that' realisation —
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mum-after-diagnosis-kit/
Paid Resources
Navigating School Pick-Up & Social Settings — the guide Jane names in this episode: how ADHD and autistic mums read social situations, how neurotypical people do, and how to bridge the gap — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/surviving-school-pick-up/
ADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning — for the days the too-much shame has flattened you — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-reset-workbook-values-energy-planning-for-adhd-mums/
ADHD Mums Shop — https://adhdmums.com.au/shop/
Related Episodes
Is It Social Anxiety — or Is It Autism — S3, with Amanda Moses — the 'said too much, read the room wrong' feeling — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-34-is-it-social-anxiety-or-is-it-autism-with-amanda-moses/
Too Much? Or Just Misunderstood: ADHD, RSD & Emotional Intensity — Jane solo — the after-sting of 'too much' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-83-too-much-or-just-misunderstood-adhd-rsd-the-power-of-emotional-intensity/
The Untold Struggles of Motherhood (Part 1) — Jane solo — new-baby isolation, no support —
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-45-the-untold-struggles-of-motherhood-part-1/
Is It ADHD or Motherhood? — Jane solo — the invisible rulebook nobody hands you —
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-22-is-it-adhd-or-motherhood-solo-episode/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313
Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
👥 Receive the episodes in your inbox
